For the first time in a while, I sat down and talked with my mom. My mom is sick at the moment and she just gone through some surgery. I’m guessing that’s the reason why she’s acting like she is today. I had the deepest talk with her. Never have I heard these words come out of her mouth. It was only till after I told her about my boy right now and how I wish she could meet him. She didn’t take it as hard, but she did say some things that got me thinking. She said this all in Khmer. I’ll translate what I can remember.
- I’m scared I won’t make it to see you grow up fully. That’s why I’m putting so much pressure on you to work hard in school and not to fall in love yet
- I know how you feel. At a young age you think you know what you’re doing but really you don’t. Right now, you’re just blinded by what you think is love.
- Your dad loved me during that time. He took care of me and I also thought he was the perfect husband but people change and you just got deal with it, no matter how much pain you’re in.
- You got to make good friends. Girls and Boys but don’t ever let somebody get to your heart. You’re foolish if you do.
- When you’re sad, the first person who makes you happy, you’d think you’ve fallen in love. You think they would of loved you too, because they saw you shine when no one else did.
- Look at me. Do not see what type of situation I’m in? Love did nothing but hurt me in the end. When I was in love with your dad, I put ALL my trust and love into him and when he left, he took that with him.
- Yes, I did have thoughts about putting you up for abortion because I felt alone but Dary (my brother) begged me not too. He said that I’d regret it and till this day, I know I would’ve. You and Dary are the only ones I strive to live for.
- A boy would never learn to love you, if he didn’t learn how to love his family first.
- You got to be careful. The reason why I’m saying this is because I don’t want you to get hurt and deal with the consequences after.
- No boy is the same. Remember that. I know you’ve gotten your heart broken before, Dary told me. I was worried sick about you, but I let you grow up on your own and I’m hoping you will be able to do that for the rest of your life.