He fought for me when it hurt him so much. He wanted me when I was still hooked on someone else. I wanted him as a friend, he wanted me as more. He walked out of my life when I stuck to the guy who was doing me so wrong. It was then that I found myself crying because I missed him. He blocked/deleted me off everything, and my friends that he talked to, because he didn’t want any connection to me whatsoever. I hurt him, bad. He just wanted to forget me, because I wasn’t giving in and he couldn’t handle knowing I was thinking about someone else.
One of his closest friends hit up my friend one night when I was with her, this night changed everything. He was telling her that he was miserable ever since him and I stopped talking, he told her he’s never seen his friend so upset over a girl, and that he could tell he missed me and wanted to talk to me. After waiting a while for our friends to finish talking, we talked.
Since he cut me off and I had no idea what was up with him, I had no idea that he was hurting like I was. I had no idea he missed me the way I missed him. Although we were now talking again, things weren’t automatically fixed. But he knew this guy was doing me wrong and he had faith that I would realize sooner or later. He stood by me the whole way through no matter how much it hurt him to see me stressing over another guy, guiding me and helping me through this confusion. To be honest, I don’t even know why I was confused.. I was dealing with this guy, who was stressing me and fucking around with me, while I had someone in front of me who genuinely cared so much about me.. Why did I not see it..
Everything switched direction when he asked, “so who ya wanna build a future with?”.. My answer was wrong the first time around, but this time, I knew. Yeah, I was stressing over both of them, but in different ways. I was stressing over the first dude because I didn’t know why he was playing with my heart. But I was stressing over him because I’ve never been so afraid to lose someone, I always wanted him around.
This was 10 months ago. He stuck around, knowing he’d be hurting every minute until I realized. He stuck around, knowing that it would take time, since I was slow to understand. But he stuck around, because he knew that when I finally did realize, he’d be able to fill a place in my heart I never knew was empty.
I am now confident with myself. I now know what I’m worth and what I deserve, because he showed me. I am who I am right now, because he loves me.
As much as it hurts to think back to how it all started, I can’t help but smile sometimes. It’s so cute what he did for me, for us. And as much as I hate myself for causing him so much pain because I was stupid, I love him for not giving up on me, because if that were me in his position, I wouldn’t have fought. It’s nice knowing I mean so much to someone..
I know I’m young, but I believe in everything I feel. My past was filled with meaningless and empty words, but I know I’m being true to myself and him. These words have finally been filled with meaning.. I love him, and I show him every day.
- Me.