Part 7: http://fuckyeahhlove.tumblr.com/post/1270781411/the-pursuit-of-love-part-7
High School Junior Year (2006)
In the fall, I would be coordinating a retreat along with some familiar faces—I was still a semi-Jesus freak. It required me to team up with Radio Girl in a High School Musical style skit. So for like ten minutes we played the roles of a Filipino Troy and Gabriella.
“Aw such a cute couple” a girl said.
Of course, no feelings lingered for her—I had fun singing with her though—and I’m glad about that because that’s not what the weekend was about. It was so that the candidates could see things as I saw them when I attended the retreat a year and some months ago. There was a girl at the retreat who liked my singing, but any intentions that weren’t about God, would have to wait.
So do you guys remember Jasmine? She was the girl who I had a legit crush on freshman year. I found out something after that weekend. Her boyfriend broke up with her; I didn’t find that to be a good thing for obvious reasons. So my friend and I thought to help her, and for the time being it worked. We kept her company and I acted as the friend.
I learned that we would have to duet, but for our church. From the weeks up until then, we were to practice together. My mom would pick her up and we would just sing with an instrumental. We had a “vocal coach” to guide us throughout the song. We became like best friends and would just chill, sometimes eat dinner, and listen to music together. And like in My Sassy Girl, I wanted to heal her sorrow. There were nights when she would vent and cry. Of course, being the NG that I am, I listened. My feelings were hidden in that kindness.
After our performance together, I kinda liked her again. She knew it. It was obvious. For now, she seemed a lot happier. I “did my job”, but I didn’t ask her for anything. As far as our closeness, I was foolishly contemplating that she was Mrs. Intuition. Now, as I was contemplating, I was also talking to this other girl. She was a great friend and she had no problem listening to me to talk about “my situation” with Jasmine.
What’s really interesting is that I started writing ten rules for each and every girl that I seriously pursued. Of course, that is because of My Sassy Girl. I found these from my AIM Archive
1. If you touch, let it only be to tickle her.
2. Don’t ask her to be nice. She’s just like that.
3. If she’s weird go along with it. It’s the only way to understand her.
4. If she hits you, don’t hit back because she can hit harder.
5.Don’t forget party cake ice cream. She likes it.
6. Don’t be surprised if you’re text bill blows up. She can do that.
7. If it’s Christmas, buy her candy or buy her a gift card on her birthday. She’ll thank you.
8. If she calls you late, it’s worth it to hear her voice.
9. If she asks something just answer her.
10. No matter what she says, encourage her. She might be a paleontologist.
A lightbulb must have flashed above my head sometime that month. It said, “I think you’ve been trying to get closer to the wrong girl.” And you can guess what happened. I came to the conclusion that my feelings for Jasmine were nothing special. Sure, she was pretty, and sure she was sassy, but there was nothing deep to those feelings. Plus, I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle her.
Lesson 16
Sometimes we give our attention to the wrong person.
Maybe not all the time, but in between our pursuit of one person, we forget about the other options that could pose as better.
Lesson 17
In order to really like someone, you have to look deeper than what your eyes can see
This action to look into this new girl would be an example of my fickleness, but the truth is I actually did like her before. I just chose not to make a move.