There’s a lot of things in the world that we take for granted. And relationships is definitely one of them. To be in a relationship isn’t easy. It may be one of the hardest rides you’ll ever endure. Promises will be broken, and hearts too. And a lot of this comes from expecting too much, or taking things for granted.
Me being in a relationship, I can admit that sometimes I take my boyfriend for granted. I expect too much from him at times I know he can’t give. I want him to always choose me over his friends, to make me his first priority all the time. And when he doesn’t, I get upset. I want him to be thinking of me constantly. Missing me constantly. And when he doesn’t, I get upset, again. Because I know that he loves me dearly with all his heart, I know he will always be there. I know, no matter how much I hurt him, how much I crush his heart, break my promises, that he would forgive me in the end. Is this counted as taking for granted? I guess so, because when I really think about it, I don’t think of him constantly. There are times where I get distracted and put my attention onto something else. I don’t choose him above everything. There are times where I’d want some personal space, or some ‘friend’s only’ time. There are times where I would choose to watch some drama myself than to sleep early with him in bed. So I guess. I do it too. It’s just a matter of seeing it, and just enjoying what you have in front of you.
There are things in a relationship that often don’t come to us. That simply a hello can brighten someone’s day, or a smile can make their heart melt. Why isn’t it possible for us to simply enjoy the little things for what it’s worth, and not expect the big things for what it’s not worth?
Cause when we think about it, there’s not a relationship that is perfect. I’m not perfect, he’s not perfect, so how can we have a perfect relationship?
It’s just a matter of seeing the little things, and to know that as long as you guys have the love, that’s all that matters. It shouldn’t matter if he doesn’t give you roses on Valentines Day. It shouldn’t matter if he couldn’t give you anything for your 5 months anniversary. It shouldn’t matter if he was running super late for meeting you but is rushing to get here. It shouldn’t matter if he said he’d call but he forgot because he was too busy with something, or too tired. If he says for whatever reason he forgot to do this, or do that, it shouldn’t matter. It should never cross your mind that he’s forgotten about you on purpose. It should never cross your mind that he’s trying to make you angry. It should never cross your mind that he stopped loving you for a second or more. Just because he can’t dedicate 24/7 of his time to you, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. And this is what I need to see.
So I shall use this time to apologize to my boyfriend, for all the times I have doubted him. All the times I have fussed or got upset over the littlest things. I’m sorry Benjamin, and all the times I have ever hurt you; broke promises; broke your heart, I’m sorry; for all the times I’ve taken you for granted because I know you’ll still be here regardless, I’m sorry. I also want to use this time to say I will smile when you make me happy, let you know when you make me mad. and miss you terribly when you’re not here.
Happy 15 Months.