This is me and the girl I’m in love with. It was her birthday on wednesday the 30th. This picture is of the two us doing stupid things. It’s these little things that I miss, and I will always love about what we have. What will follow is what I wrote to her in her birthday card, which I spent the entire night before painting and writing.
My mind raced back to the day we first met. Her hair moved gracefully through the wind as though she were a Greek Goddess, revered by the world and praised by nature itself. It’s strange for hair to be the first thing a person notices, but this might have been helped if it wasn’t from behind. When she turned around I was consumed by her sheer beauty. I didn’t think I’d ever seen that much beauty in my life at any one time, but there she was. Her eyes were deep, but shielded somehow. A pinhole of light and hope. I hadn’t known it then but there was enough inside her to turn my life around. Her smile shone brighter than any star I’d ever seen. The middle of the day and the sun still paled in comparison. Her touch, the very first time I felt it, sent shivers down my spine. That wasn’t love. I didn’t even know her, and she touched me on a level which I barely knew existed before. She was the type of person who could build you up with a finger and blow you down by breathing out. Everyone else saw the danger that she brought with her. I saw my forever.
Perplexed and irritated I sit here, attempting to put into words all that she is. I water the seeds, but they never sprout. The sonnets are inadequate, the notes fall flat, the lyrics feel empty, the words crumble to nothing but symbols meaning nothing. That is the beauty that she is. Nothing about her could be contained. She was a hurricane. She was a tsunami. She was the wind, wild and free. Words could not ever sum up and contain the essence of that fairy creature. No action ever done could match up to what she deserved.
That is the beauty which she is. She’s the force that pumps blood through my veins. She’s my driving force to stay alive. She’s my disease. She’s my medication. She’s my high. She’s my reality check. She’s my everything. She is everything.
I cannot explain my reasons for needing to be with her. I’m dying without the drug I never knew I needed. I long for her skin on mine, I long for her voice whispered in my ear, I long for her presence in my life. I’d run to her if ever she wished it, I’d label myself for all to see, I’d give her the world, I’d catch her the moon. I’d give my all to be with her. Perhaps the very reason for that being, she is who she is. I may never understand that, but I’d spend every day of my life, driving every fiber of my being towards explaining the world’s best kept secret, the universes most understated treasure. Her name is insufficient to contain the awesomeness and enormity of her beauty and I will forever be in awe, but it is a name which will forever be etched into the back of my head. Christine.
Brandon Paul