This is my and my boyfriend, this was a while ago.Today is our 6th month anniversary, sadly, we can’t spend it together due to his “banishment” from seeing me not just me but everyone. It’s really sad, we can only see each other at school now but thing is we don’t have classes or lunch together. But I’m trying. I’m trying my best to always be with him. I wish somehow we could spend everyday together but we can’t. But I just wanted to say he’s my longest relationship so far, and I want him to be the last person I’d have a relationship with. I can honestly say, I’m so in love with him.
Yes we argue, yes we act like kids bad and good, yeah we cry, yeah we both have our own problems individually and together. Six months may not seem very long but hell we’ve already been through so much it’s crazy. We’ve hurt each other mentally a lot, but we get by these things together. I wouldn’t want anyone else to get through these things together. I’m just glad he still with me throughout the stupid dumb decisions I make to myself. He kisses my scars that I have and vise versa as well. I’m struggling with self-harm. But the way he kisses my scars and how he looks at me after, it makes me cry honestly. No one has ever done that for me, to me. It’s quite lovely. He’s lovely. I’m happy.
But we’re struggling, I didn’t know it would ever ever hurt this much to miss someone. To be away from someone after spending almost everyday with during summer. It hurts having been stripped of someone that keeps you stable, and sane. It’s excruciating, that feeling, you can’t really quite describe it. And he’s having mixed emotions about our relationship, those words cut me deep deeper than the blade itself. I’m fighting although I can’t do much without seeing him or having anymore communication with him besides school but I’m doing my hardest and my best to keep us together. I don’t want to loose him, someone so genuine to me, who makes me happy out of all the bullshit my life has given me. I’m not about to loose someone so close, so dear, someone whose shown me what love really is. I can’t loose someone I love. I am completely utterly deeply in love with him. I need him. As cliche as it is, I do, I need him so much.
my tumblr: http://takemetoinfinite.tumblr.com/