dear m.
i’ve never wanted another person in my life as much as i want you. i’ve never wanted another person to love me back as much as i want you to. i believe you when you tell me that you want me in your future, and i actually want a future with you. i want picture frames with us smiling out from them. i want videos, shelves, walls full of memories between us. i want to wake up extra early and sneak out of bed to make you breakfast and i want to bring it to you while you’re still sleeping. i want to kiss you goodbye on our way to work, i want to stay up late at night watching stupid movies together; smoking weed and cigarettes while we throw popcorn at each other. i want us to run around our home, whether it be a crappy studio room, an apartment or house, whether it’s just four plaster walls of nothing, as long as it was with you, it’d be home to me and it would be something beautiful. i want us to have a secret place where we stash our drugs, but i don’t want us to need them. because we are happy, content with each other, but we keep them around for our enjoyment and fun. i want to sit back and drink a beer with you while we tell each other about our day, or talk to each other about problems. i want to go grocery shopping with you and come home too lazy to cook so we end up ordering take out anyway. i want to blast music and dance around while i help you clean, just to make you laugh a little. i want to lay down at night beside you, whispering secrets into your ear beneath our bedsheets. i want us to fight over who gets to use the bathroom mirror and push each other out of the way while were brushing our teeth. i want to place sticky notes inside your jacket pockets and around the house saying, ‘i love you baby,’ just to remind you. i want to play video games with you and try to cheat when i’m losing. i want to walk around our bedroom, modeling lingerie for you. i want to make love to you and fuck you all around our home in every and any way possible. i want to lay on the floor and stare up at the ceiling next to you talking about how stupid people are. i want to drive around with you just because. i want our future but i also want the beauty in us now. i want to hold your hand while we’re out at the mall, or just taking a walk or hanging out with friends. i want to hear about random carnivals or fairs and take you there, even ride the ferris wheel despite how scared i am of them. i want to tackle you in the snow with only your kisses to keep me warm. i want to go to the beach with you in the summertime and just lay there in the sand, i want to swim in the ocean with you and feel free. i want to see your face on my computer through our webcams, i want to make stupid, silly videos with you, i want to sing to you and show you all the songs that remind me of you, and i want you to know all my favorite bands and songs as well. i want to take care of you when youre sick. i want us to get our own puppy and fight over who has to clean him and walk him. i want to introduce you to my family, my whole family, so they can see the amazing, beautiful man im so much in love with. i want to take showers with you, and baths. i want to be your first goodmorning, your last goodnight and your most important i love you. i want to walk into a room with my hair pulled back in a tangled mess, glasses on and make-up off, a tank top and sweats on and hear you tell me that im just as beautiful as ever. i want us to have no secrets, to be completely open, nothing hidden and no worries or insecurities. i want us to see it all, the tears, the smiles, the laughs, the anger, the pain, the awkward moments, the breakdowns, the hopes and dreams, and build eachother up. i want us to be able to confidently say that we are eachothers best friend. i want to celebrate birthdays, christmas, thanksgiving and all other holidays together, but most of all i want to celebrate anniversaries. i want to take your name, i want to be yours entirely and you be mine. i don’t give a fuck what anyone says, thinks or what happens, i want to marry you, when we’re somewhere stable, when we are ready with barely any worries. when we are more than positive there isn’t another person we want to spend a single second with but eachother. i want to be engaged to you, i want to eat dinner with you, i want to paint the walls of our bedroom with you, i want to drink coffee with you and watch the news. i want to fall asleep in your arms and only yours. i want us to look back and be able to say, yeah it was fucked up and hard but we made it. i want to show you who i am, in my entirity and share my life with you. i love you, mason landy santana. from the first night i saw you i saw the story in your eyes and from the second of our connection i’ve stayed faithful to your heart and your love. i love you and every part of you and i’ll never give up on you, and i am always here for you only a phonecall away. you are who i want by my side to love, baby you are it, you are everything and we can write such a beautiful story together. as rocky as these roads get and through all the storms, i am here to for the long run, im next to you in the passenger seat, im riding with you the whole way babe, you can count on me. because i love you, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to ever make me stop.
always, d.
madmisshatter.tumblr.com (personal)
thisloveihavetogive.tumblr.com (made for him)