There are many reasons why you would want a pre-breakup. Maybe you want time to think and sort things out with yourself, maybe you need time to find out what are you doing wrong…maybe you just need a break, a short rest. Honestly, I don’t believe in a pre-breakup. Not now and probably not ever.
Today, my boyfriend asked for a pre-breakup. We’ve been fighting all week and he says that he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore. I know there’s no one else. I can tell when someone is being honest with me or not. And recently, he has been at his most truthful. After when he said the words, all I could hear was a soft buzz and my mind arguing his shallow reasons. In my head, there were too many words for me to say until I ended up saying nothing at all. After his lips stopped moving, it took me a short while to speak again. I collected my thoughts and gathered all the strength to say the words carefully so that he’ll understand. I sucked in all the tears and I faced him. It broke my heart seeing him like that. He looked so sad. How could he even think that I don’t love him? When truth be told, all I’ve ever loved was him.
I looked at him and pulled him a little closer to me. I told him that I don’t need time to think. I don’t have anything to think about. I told him that all I want for him is to trust me. I told him that I wouldn’t let go this way, even for a short while.
I told him that I love him when he least deserves it. When I least want to forgive him. Because at his saddest times, he needs me to love him the most.