Jut because I’m not part of a couple, doesn’t mean that someone and I are not in love.
I love my bestfriend, Natalie.
Yeah, I’m a guy, and she’s a girl, and we’re just best friends.
Ohkay, so it’s a bit different, because I’m gay. But it’s still crazy how much I love this girl. I always wanted a boyfriend, always wanted that Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet and tell me he’ll love me for all that I am, forever. But Prince Charming turned out to be Princess Congeniality.
Natalie is one of the pretty girls, the popular girls. The ones that walk the halls with the confidence you wish you had. The ones who always look gorgeous, whether in juicy or jeans. I never thought she and I’d ever be friends because I was just some high school boy, just trying to get by, and she was some bubbly beauty queen. But thank the Lord that she and I met freshmen year in study hall.
I thought it was real weird when she and I first started talking. I thought it was like she must have taken some oath to be nice to losers, or maybe all her friends ditched her and she needed new ones, or maybe she was just high. But it was none of those things. She’d always talk to me and I’d respond, not wanting to upset someone with so much presence, someone who talked so eloquently. Soon enough we were walking in the halls together, laughing our asses off together during study hall—not getting any work done, texting each other outside of school, and eventually became best friends.
She really broke me out from myself. She was my compliment; she brought out the best in me. I could talk so easily to her, say anything without worrying about saying the wrong thing. I could just let myself be and act however i wanted, because I knew she’d be there by my side no matter how I was.
She was the first person I came out to, sophomore year.
I wanted it to be serious. But with Natalie, no matter how serious the situation, there’s still some room for humor and laughter. Coming out is never easy, but it seemed like I was just telling Natalie something funny that happened that day. She was just responded with smiles and said, “I get to be the first to meet your first boyfriend.”
People used to think we went out because we would been seen together a lot and we kiss each other—or more that I give her unwanted wet kisses (:—and I always felt like Natalie would respond by immediately denying it, that being MY GIRLFRIEND was the funniest joke cuz she would be totally out of my league if I was straight. But she never did that; she did laugh—but then hook her arm around mine and said “of course, I love my skim.” I feel that people would judge her for being seen with me, because I’m not that great of a guy, yet she yells my name across the room, stops in the hallways to hug me, put her head on my shoulder when she’s tired, and lets me sit on her lap, even when there’s a perfectly empty chair next to her.
It still shocks me to this day that Natalie is my best friend.
I feel like I’m not good enough sometimes, because she’s given me so much. She could be friends with anyone in this world! Yet she chose me. And I know relationships don’t work out if one person is too clingy or is always worried about the other person not loving them the same way that they do, but I can’t help feeling that way because Natalie is just way too good of a friend to me. She’s more than I would have ever expected to be given in life.
My best friend is my lover.
I would be so lost in this world with out her and I am so proud of being her friend. She completes me, and I love her whole-heartedly for being the best fucking friend in the whole wide world.
skim <3 n.l.p.
by misterskim