The psychology classes in my school do this thing called Johari Window, which is an excercise during which everyone tells one another what they think about eachother. I’ve been dreading this excercise since I heard about it sophmore year. And to top it all off, my ex boyfriend is in my class.
We hadn’t ended on a good note. He just kind of used me and dropped me out of no where… we had talked about it breifly and we were supposed to be “cool”, but it was never the same. And it sucked, because before that, we were such good friends. So obviously it hurt.
So in order to avoid more anxiety, I went second in class today. Most people don’t know me well… so they classified me as nice, quiet and smart. I’m not quiet. But no one knows I guess. So anyway, my one friend Katy went off about how much I talked when it got to her. It made me feel a little better, but afterwords it went back to the usual stuff.
Then it got to the guy I used to date. No one really knows about it because it wasn’t on facebook or during the school year. It was a summer thing… but it was serious, in a way. Anyway, he’s more popular than me I guess. But we were always so close. He was such a great friend and so nice. But he went to boarding school for a year. We talked the whole time he was away, but when he got back to my high school the following year, he acted like nothing ever happened and went back to his old friends. So when it was his turn to speak about me, I was expecting “Ditto with everyone else. You’re nice, blah blah” you know, acting like he barely knew me. But he suprised me. He looked straight at me the entire time, in front of the whole class, and went on a monologue. I don’t remember half of it because the entire time I was kind of staring in shock… something along the lines of,
“Going off of what Katy said… you’re not quiet. At all. In fact you were one of the best people to talk to, but you don’t show much of that side of you in school. You’re a really sweet person and we used to be really great friends. I could go to you for anything. When I went to school, you were one of the TWO people that actually held contact with me. I appreciated that so much and I really regret losing contact with you because you were such a great person to talk to and a great friend to me. I just think you’re a great person.”
There was more… for sure… and when he finished a few people were like “AWEEEEE”! But I’m sure half of them were like “…they were friends…?” I don’t know. I mean… I’ve been over him for a very long time and I still am. But it just felt so good to hear that. To know that he wasn’t embarrassed of me and that he agknowledged the fact that we used to be so close and now aren’t… in front of everyone… it was just really nice. I appreciated it.