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Beauty of Her Sadness

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As she walked through the hallways, people never fail to notice her. She has those gray eyes which look like a puppy’s. She had a shiny, long, bloody-colored hair which every girl in school envied. She has that fair natural skin which a lot of people ask her about. She looked so beautiful, so perfect.

When she passed by, a group of people greeted her a good morning. She was well-known for her beauty and intelligence. Her tender and sincere smile matched the sunlight that pierced through the window of the hallways as she greeted them back. A few-centimeter-ed curve in her face looked so beautiful. But never they saw her grin nor smiled over an inch ever since last month.

She went to her locker and pulled out a few stuff that she needed. As she opened it, one of her group mates asked her something about their report for their second period. In response, she nodded. Her simple gesture looked so beautiful. It was so full of gorgeousness.

The bell rang. It was time for first period.

She walked inside their room, and as usual, everyone turned to look at her except for one guy. She passed through her classmates quietly with her head down and sat down next to the guy who didn’t turn to look at her when she came in.

“Ayeee…”, their classmates teased them.

She blushed, still keeping her head down while the guy looked away and stared out the window. The guy was her boyfriend. They have rarely talked to each other since the last month. Nobody knew— except for the two of them.

It was always a Friday when they get so busy since they have to attend to club meetings and pass tons of requirements from different subjects.

It was already 4 p.m. when they have finished every business they had to deal in school. She went to the rooftop. It was the place where she and her boyfriend spent time together whenever they’re free. They loved the place since there were a lot of beautiful plants and flowers and they felt that they were alone and temporarily disregarding the world. It was their escape.

She placed her backpack down and sat on the bench. As she was looking around, she found the place beautiful. One can actually see the whole city from the rooftop’s viewpoint. Before, she never realized how beautiful it was. It was as beautiful as her. Well, she never knew that it was.

Reminiscing about their lovely moments, she placed her palms on her face and began to cry. Her tears were like a river flowing silently. She remembered the time when they had a fight with her boyfriend.

They were on the rooftop, on a Friday afternoon. They sat closely to each other on their favorite bench.

She was crying.

“I’m sorry, love…”

“Stop crying…”, he said.

She continued to cry.

“I said.. stop crying.”, he said firmly.

She tried to hold back her tears but she couldn’t help but cry.

“I said, stop fucking crying!”, he yelled at her.

God! I’m so sick and tired of your drama! It’s so fucking irritating! You’ve been a control freak you wouldn’t even let me go to parties anymore, spend time with my friends especially with girls because I’m afraid that you’d get mad! You’ve become my everything I had to give up my friends! It’s always about YOU, YOU, YOU!”, he said furiously in front of her.

She was stunned. She felt a sudden fear for him and cried even harder. She was like a helpless puppy being tortured.

She distanced herself from him, feeling scared. She still wanted to cry for what he said was deeply hurting her. But she couldn’t cry anymore. He was already furious about it.

Wiping her tears, she said with her voice breaking, “With what you’ve said, that means I’m just a piece of shit in your life. You said I’m the best thing that has ever happened in your life, but now it seems like your saying that I’m the worst thing that has ever happened in your life. I’m just a fucking piece of shit in your life, huh? I never asked anything for exchange for all the good things that I’ve done for you. You have hurt me a couple of times but I never complained. I only tell you how I feel. I always give you another chance ‘cause I believe that you can do better. I believe in you. I never wanted to say ‘I’m tired’ whenever we’re not okay, whenever I’m hurt. I disregard all of the hurt and anger ‘cause I know you love me despite all those bad things and I love you no matter what the weather is. And now, you’re saying those things… Now, I know how you feel… Now I know that I’m the worst thing that ever happened to you and I was just a fucking piece of shit in your life…”

He was still digesting her words. He didn’t understand what he felt, yet he was still furious.

He picked up his bag and left her. She was left there, sitting and crying all alone. All she needed was him. He was the only one who can calm her down and give the comfort that she needed. She was brokenhearted.

The way she talked, the way she walked, the way she smiled, the way she nodded, it was all beautiful. People admired her beauty. But there’s one thing they don’t know—it was the beauty of her sadness.

She just couldn’t help but cry while recalling that very moment. The sun was setting. A sudden breeze of wind passed by her.

“At least the wind can somehow hear me and try to comfort me.”, she thought to herself.

She didn’t notice that her boyfriend was standing near the stairs, behind her. He saw how the wind blew beautifully through her hair and how the sun cascaded her tender face and pierced through her hair beautifully.

At first, he hesitated to go near her. But she was crying. He just couldn’t stand there and watch her. So he came up to her and held her shoulder.

“Love…”

She didn’t turn to face him. She just kept on crying.

“Ssshhh…” He sat down beside her.

“Don’t cry too much, please.”, he said as he hugged her.

She sniffed, trying to hold back her tears.

“You’re here. I don’t want to cry when you’re around. You’ll get mad at me again…”, she said sadly.

“Look, I’m sorry I got mad at you when I said those things…”, he hugged her tightly.

“But you meant what you said…”

There was silence.

Her sniff broke the silence.

“I guess it’s better if we should stop this…”

Her heart sank. She couldn’t accept what was going to happen.

“But I’ll always be here for you. You could always approach me if you want to. We can still talk.”, he said gently.

“Thank you…”, she sniffed.

Her eyes were sore. She stopped crying already yet the pain was eating her.

“I just can’t accept the fact that you’re not mine anymore. I don’t have the right to be jealous anymore. But… You can still talk to me. Whenever you have problems, I’m always here for you no matter what the weather is. Don’t ever hesitate to approach me especially when you have problems with your family. Remember that I’ll always love you. You’ll always have my heart,”

He started crying.

“and I’ll be waiting for you, love. You’re free now. You can do whatever you want. But I still care about you. I’d still be monitoring you. I’ll check if you’ve eaten already, slept properly and took your vitamins. If you haven’t, I’ll tell mommy.”

His tears turned into a river.

She hugged him tightly.

“I hope we can still share some good laughs.”

She looked at him, and caressed his face.

“You’ll always be my baby… I’ll always be here for you. Don’t ever forget that. I’ll be waiting, love. I love you so much… I love you… I love you… I love you… Always remember that, okay?”

He sniffed.

“Okay… I love you…”, he said softly.

They hugged and gave each other one last kiss.

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