Dear Gabe,
In one month, it will be four years since we met. In two months, it will be four years since we have loved each other. I’m sitting here looking back on everything I have saved since then: the letters, the pictures, movie tickets, stories, your sweater; anything and everything that has something to do with our history. It has been such a painful one, but it was worth it none the less.
We met at a Thanksgiving football game back in 2006. I was a naive and outgoing thirteen year old girl and he was a funny and charming fourteen year old boy. I didn’t expect to see him, nor did I expect to feel what I did for him. I didn’t even want to go too that stupid game; it was raining and it was cold and I wasn’t even into football. But something pushed me to, and I like to believe that something was fate. I didn’t know you, and I sat with you, and I eventually convinced you to cheer on this team. You screamed at the top of your lungs for me and I watched you laugh and knew I would never have this again. This comfort, this chemistry, this easy going way. It is only something you have brought me, even after all this time. That team won that day, after their very long losing streak. It was a huge change for them, and an even bigger change for us. You asked me to be your girlfriend a few days later on November 23rd. We went on our first date and had our first kiss December 8th. We said I love you to each other December 17th. We broke up February 18th, 2007. It was my fault. But he came back to me November 23rd, 2007; the day my little sister was born. I always wanted to be everything to someone, and he called me and told me I was the world to him. And yet, I still left him two months later, again. I wasn’t ready for a relationship. I wasn’t ready for love. I hid from it, and him. He would always call and I’d ignore it. He still loved me, and I couldn’t accept it. November 23rd, 2009 I messaged him on Facebook. At first, he was hesitant, and after I wished him a happy 23rd, he just said thanks. I felt defeated and like we wouldn’t be together again. But to my surprise, he gave me his new number. That same weekend he told me he always missed me, always loved me, and no matter what he would always take me back. We started hanging out over the next two months, taking things slow because I was still so afraid. But he took my hand and showed me I had nothing to fear; not with him anyway. February 6th, 2010 he asked me out again and those things have been hard and we will never forget out past, I know we have a beautiful future ahead of us.
It’s been a long, tiring journey, my love, and I wouldn’t take back a second of it. From day one you were always there and now as you stand by me today I see that you have never left my side, no matter how many times I pushed you away, no matter how many times I ran away out of fear, you took my hand and showed me love. You saved my life, and you knew it before I did, and for that I am forever grateful. Things may get hard, and sometimes the light may be hard to see, but just remember when that happens just look by your side, right here I’ll always be. ♥
letterstogabe.tumblr.com