Quantcast
Channel: der schöne Blog
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 6371

I cannot sleep and I want to tell you why I love you.

$
0
0

I don’t know really know why I love you. Its not about your looks (even though you are so cute), its not about what your occupation is, neither is it about what you said or did to make me love you. 

Maybe someone loved you a lot before. Maybe someone didn’t. Whatever it is, you got hurt badly. At the very same time, in another life back when I didn’t know you yet and you didn’t know I existed, I was being hurt too.

I just want you to know that no matter what, always remember, you are someone precious to me. You deserve to be love wholly by me, I am going to treat you with the best that I can do and I am going to try my very best to love you. And I hope I hold the same place in your heart too.

The very first day I took a leap of faith and we fell asleep in the place we call our love loft, I woke up in the middle of the night in your arms and I heard you whispering “I love you Michelle.”, while clutching my hand so tightly.Me, I was half asleep, sweating from being under the covers, and I thought I was dreaming and I remembering asking you “Why? You don’t even know me that well.” and you said “I dont know too. I just do.” Then I fell asleep again. When I woke up, you hand was still clutching mine.

I don’t know how to describe this but I know it inside immediately that I love you too. Immanuel, Mr Crocs, An Fu, Cute Chef, whatever you are called. You are you. I didn’t know whether you were being serious or not. I was afraid that I was jumping into things too fast, I am so so so scared of being hurt again. Im still scared but now I’m even more sure that what I felt was true. Its so funny isn’t it. I never expected that I will find love again. I didn’t dare to search. I didn’t dare to accept other people’s affection. And I found you. I admit I was a little hesitant because you seemed to be able to like some girls easily in the past. I was afraid i would just be someone who happens to be liked by you and you will stop liking me soon one day. 

But till this day, you are still as precious. 

I love how you bring me breakfast everyday, how you make hurried calls to me with your I Love Yous, how you rush back to the frenzied world of French fine dining after that. How, when I am sleeping, you will brush my bangs up my forehead every single time and how you will stroke my hair gently. I love how your forehead creases into lines of worries when I was having a bad migraine that time, and the way you frown subconsciously when you are upset, even though you don’t realize it. I love how the first thing you do when you see me is to take my hand and give it a tight tight squeeze like you don’t want to let go, as though you are telling me that you are glad that I am here beside you.

I really wish time will fly so that our future will come faster. But then I realised that without what we are building up now, there won’t be any future us. Only when we are honest always, then we will be able to build this strong unbreakable foundation for our future. I know, the harder it is right now, the sweeter the fruits of our labour will taste. I know it sounds so old fashioned. lol. And I honestly honestly believe, that God will give us what we deserve after we get through the ordeals He gives us. Nothing good comes so easily. And we will emerge stronger than ever.

I want us to to always have trust and have faith. Perhaps there might be arguments to come, there might be doubts along the way, there might be people trying to make havoc, there might be a crisis. Work, school, family, might not work out the way we want but I want us to always be understanding towards each other. To always, always be there. To build up a bond no one can break. To be lovers. To be best friends. To have fun. Be open about everything. To be adventurous, there is so much to see and appreciate, sweets! To be whoever we really are in front of each other. To reveal our best sides and worst sides.To not suffocate each other but because we trust so much, we know we can be out working the whole day, out with our own family and friends, and at the very end of the day, we know that we will always have each other and we will always be there for each other. Maybe distance will separate us one day but I want us to make it, to commit, to be responsible adults, to keep this link together. Remember, once the link is broken, we can never heal it again. When that happens, we will be a waste. There won’t be us. Time will be wasted. Memories tainted. Won’t be any baby Alexis, won’t be any bookshelves for your books and my books. No applying for new flats, no picnics, no home cooked instant noodles by you at home. No taiwan trips. And honestly, you will never find someone who loves you so much and is as understanding and smart like me :P HAHA. No Immanuel and Michelle. No Michelle and Immanuel. Sounds terrible isn’t it?!

I know I am good at my words. Maybe because I am, which is why now I am writing all this down. I am writing this down because I don’t want to forget and lose a chance to let you know what I am feeling now.

Love is not only this I-want-to-see-you-now, I-miss-you-so-much things that I am feeling right now. Its this.. feeling inside us that makes you and me fit with each other. We don’t need to have any similarities. We dont have to have the same hobbies. We dont have to understand what each other is thinking all the time. We just have to simply not assume, not to take each other for granted and just remember to always ask whenever we are unsure. Clear all doubts. The most important thing we have in common with each other will be Us. And thats what we will never ever be able to find with other people.

One day, maybe months, maybe years later, this giddy honeymoon period we are having now may fade. But I want this special tenderness between us to always be there, I want us to be as loving, to know that each other will be the most precious thing, as we grow, as we have a family, as we build a career, as life takes us on the journey we have no idea how it will turn out to be like.

I wish, I wish with all my heart, that the tenderness you have for me will never fade. My stupid habit of making stupid jokes will never fade away. I wish you will never stop singing randomly. I wish you will still be stroking my hair when I am sleeping. I want to always be learning from you, asking you questions about what you cooked today. Asking you how do you do this and how do you do that. I want you to learn from me too, because we have so much to give to each other in years to come. And I wish that we will always have a special place in our heart for each other that no one can replace.

I love you baby.

airpork.tumblr.com


Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 6371

Trending Articles