High School Sophomore Year 2006
After I left, I kept in contact with my cousins and her of course. I kinda made it obvious that I liked her in Xanga entries. She was an aspiring nurse and I hinted at needing one when I was sick. We would talk on Yahoo Messenger because that’s what Filipinos used. Slowly, I was giving into my feelings. Sometime in February, my cousins proposed the idea of me dating her. They thought that if I liked her, why not? She said yes of course to “going out” and being my girlfriend.
From that day, we would text each other every day, even though there were international charges. She always left me with a mwah or an “I love you”. I’d say it too. She made me happy and I was being accustomed to her daily messages. Her Myspace profile picture was of a shirt saying, “you’ll have to get through my boyfriend first.” Our face to face talk was limited to webcam sessions. She didn’t care if she had to stay up because of time difference. She really liked me if not loved me. My First Love also told me that we should pray together every night at the same time, so I would be at 11 a.m. while she would be at 11 p.m. I thought to write a song for her, but it was terrible. She liked it a lot though. She wanted me to play it for her, which I did. It lacked enthusiasm in my mind. I knew that we both really missed each other.
One day, I got a gift from her. It was a short letter and an edited picture of us together. She posted the same one has her profile picture in Myspace for Valentine’s Day. There was something there that kinda fazed me. I saw the word “forever”. I thought over our relationship. How long would it be until I saw her again? We were still together over the next few weeks, but that idea loomed over me as we texted each other about our days.
Now, this is where I’m terrible. I broke her heart. I told her that I didn’t love her anymore as we were talking online. I can’t tell if this was my rational side taking over, but I told her that. She was sad and heartbroken. I know she cried. I felt from that point on, I wasn’t really deserving of any girlfriend after that. In retrospect, I’m glad I didn’t drag out and lead her on. My reputation with the WATTOS was a bit tarnished. Here’s some lessons.
Lesson 10
Never say “I love you” immediately.
This is one of the hugest mistakes you can make if you say it prematurely. Young love especially suffers from this. It can totally turn the tides, sometimes offsetting the balance that was previously understood. Couples can be together, but to love someone it’s a lot more than just dates and romantic moments. It’s more than just surviving hardships at a young age, it’s overcoming future obstacles together such as distance and all sorts of changes.
Lesson 11
Everyone is capable of breaking a heart.
This is just straight-forward, but I wanted to make it clear that there is no such thing as too nice to hurt someone. In a later part, you’ll find that you may not even have to say anything at all to break someone’s heart.
Lesson 12
Long distance relationships[over continents]aren’t meant for young love or even your first relationship.
Long relationships are no ball in the park type of thing. They are a test for how much you love someone. The people who have been in one know that for a fact—it isn’t easy.
Lesson 13
Everyone has their own needs.
I found out that I needed to express my love in a relationship. I know she wanted to also, but she was able to live with that and hope for the future. I wasn’t patient enough. The point is that we all have our needs in a relationship and if they’re not fulfilled, then it’s not good for either of us.
by tjisawsome