“Before you, my life was like a moonless night,. Very dark, but there were stars- points of lights and reason.
..And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.”
It’s been 7 months since we stopped talking to each other, or rather I did.
And just last week, I got a news that you have a girlfriend
plus that she’s one of my bestfriends. Wow. That’s just great.
I believed without asking her or asking you - of course
we haven’t been talking to each other for a long time now.
Or maybe it was because I was afraid to have it confirmed.
I was afraid to know that it was true, because I would be left alone and hurt.
But I did not feel alone or hurt at all, rather, I felt angry and mad.
So I stopped returning your gaze, I would snap my head opposite your direction.
When you walk in front of me, often times I would curse or go away.
I hated driving you away from me but I hated you more for making me still hope all the while you’re with her.
Being angry with you made me think that I loved you less.
And you being with her made me think that I should give up and so I tried.
I tried liking some other guys, which ended up in failure.
And before I sleep, I’ll try forgetting the fact that no else could
replace you and that I still couldn’t stop thinking about you.
I talked to another bestfriend, who’s also friends with your ‘girlfriend’.
She told me that you’re not with her and that she also gets hurt by your
actions, which I have no idea what those are. Hope filled me.
I decided that I wouldn’t give up, not until you’re really with her.
I would return your gaze and to not ignore you and my feelings.
My most important decision of all?
I will talk to you, now, screw those 7 months of not talking.
I need to fight for you until I can. I am not sure what will happen after this.
But deciding to talk to you? I’ve never been more certain in my life.
by anonymous