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Forever in my heart

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Krystina Seguismundo

She was my cousin. She was my goddaughter. She was 10 years old, 10 years 11 days to be exact.  She has been through things you couldn’t image a ten year old going through. She was strong especially for her age.

I’ve wanted to write this for some time now, but I have been too emotional and weak. Whenever someone would bring her up, I would start crying. It’s been hard for me to cope with what happened. I’ve had relatives pass away before, but no one that I really knew or was close with. Her passing hit me hard. I’ve never been to a funeral before and I never thought hers would be my first. There’s so much stuff I regret. I wish I could have seen her more often. It was hard, since we live across the country from each other. The last time I saw her when she was well, was the summer of 2008 for vacation. Last year, my brothers and I flew to Florida in October because she was really sick. The doctors said she had less than a 30% chance of surviving. When we got there, my uncle and cousin picked us up from the airport and took us to the hospital to see her. I broke down and started crying, seeing her on the hospital bed with all the cords attached to her made it so much more real. We were there only for a week, but as the week went by she was getting better. She was unconscious the whole time we were there though. Her parents were so strong, especially her mom. They kept their faith and hoped and prayed for the best, I on the other hand thought about the what ifs. I didn’t want to and I tried not to, but it would be in the back of my mind and those thoughts made me breakdown more. She eventually did get better and proved the doctors wrong. And that’s what I thought or hoped and prayed for would happen again when the doctors gave her a day or two left. I wasn’t ready for her to go.

Saturday, August 21, 2010 was my grandma’s birthday. We had a party at the house for her to celebrate. The next morning my mom came into my room crying telling me to turn on my computer and webcam. Both my grandma’s came into my room crying, I knew it was bad, but I didn’t know how bad. When we were connected with my relatives from Florida through the webcam, my aunt or uncle said the doctors told them she could go today or tomorrow. We stayed online with them for a while, once we got off my mom started looking for flights to Florida. My mom, both my grandmas, and I went to the airport hoping to get on the 3pm nonstop to Florida. (My brothers couldn’t go, because my older was working and my younger had already started school). Lucky for us the flight was not full so were able to get on. We arrived at the airport at 11pm EST (8pm back in Ca) where my other aunt and her boyfriend picked us up and took us back to my cousin’s house at about 12am and ate dinner. We didn’t want to wait until the morning to go to the hospital, so my mom, grandmothers, and I took the other car and headed to the hospital 2 hrs away. It was Monday, August 23 now. I drove 2 hrs nonstop, kind of speeding, because I didn’t want to get there when it was too late. We got to the hospital at just about 3am.  She wasn’t getting any better. I literally could not stand up seeing her in the hospital bed unconscious again, it brought me back to almost a year ago, but this time there was blood that just kept coming out of her mouth. I was a little more hopeful this time than last, she’s proven the doctors wrong before and I thought she’d do it again. She fought for her life until the very end, she didn’t give up. In her final hours, we’d see her heart rate drop and we would think this is it, but then it would go back up again. Although she had no brain activity, because her brain had swell up, when her parents were talking to her, saying it’s okay, she didn’t have to fight anymore, tears started running down her face. Krystina Seguismundo passed away on August 23, 2010 at 6:52am EST.

It’s been one month exactly since she passed away and it hasn’t gotten any easier. I love you and I miss you Krystina. R.I.P

Ashley


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