Part 3: http://fuckyeahhlove.tumblr.com/post/1123577453/pursuit-of-love-part-3
Summer 2005
At this point, I was looking into a relationship with God—he’s not one of the three. That means that there are two more left in this detailed “amobiography”. After the retreat, I thought of the world differently. I was less pessimistic and more optimistic about life. I knew that there were good people in this world and those people would be my friends.
In terms of personal growth, I was already starting to open up. During the spring, I became initiated into what was known as Sick Team of Asian Boys or S.T.A.B. It’s leader was the notorious Adam Felibrico. I was also starting to learn the social benefits of being Filipino. I would meet new people regularly. Some girls even knew me for singing.
This next girl is called Radio Girl. She’s a friendly girl. I nicknamed her this because she listened to a lot of music and some some of it was through online radio. When I first started chatting with her, I had no intention of being anything but her friend. However, as I talked to her more, my feelings changed.
You know how they say a guy and a girl can’t be good friends without one falling for the other. This was one of those times and I never knew about that saying then.
To me, she was different. She liked my singing and she liked talking to me, at least that’s what I thought. I thought her personality was what really made her cute. I ignored her obvious friendliness and substituted it with an idea that if I courted her, she could be mine. Her friend encouraged me too. She said, “you never know until you try.”
In between, I was becoming a budding songwriter. I transformed my poems into “cute songs” and people liked them, not just friends. I wrote two songs about her from my memory, but I won’t show them due to embarrassment.
Lesson 6
Just because a person can inspire you to do something creative, does not make them meant for you.
I don’t really think I made any progress though. I did call her and I actually had conversations with her. I saw myself limited to talking though since we lived far from each other, maybe a 40 minute drive. I thought if I asked her out, it’d be the first time I’d take initiative. I tried over the phone, but she didn’t pick up. Oh 15 yr-old TJ.
Lesson 7
Never start a relationship over the phone.
If you really think about it, it means that you couldn’t wait to see them in person. It also shows you have no guts to ask face to face. Sure, there’s that fear and awkwardness if they say no, but if they’re the right person, they will surely say yes.
It’s good I didn’t make myself much more of a fool. I decided against asking her again because we were drifting and I was just trying to persist with the idea. I would like to apologize to this girl though.
This is where I started my own journal of my life. I did not record every little thing, just what I could not put on Xanga, and she made up one of the recent entries. I wrote down little things about her. It was rather pathetic, but that’s how I was.
Lesson 5
Being sweet doesn’t mean as much as girls say its worth because every girl is different and they all have different perceptions of what constitutes a potential boyfriend.
Lesson 6
You cannot be a one-trick pony when it comes to courting.
I am not going to discuss the hot guys who use their body because that’s just an external reason of interest.
Next: My First Love
by tjisawsome