Part 2: http://fuckyeahhlove.tumblr.com/post/1103849967/the-pursuit-of-love-part-2
Note: People ask why I’m “like this”. How is it possible for any guy to go through this? How can a guy be so sensitive and not know what to do? There have been reasons proposed for this.
- I grew up as an only child with a single mother.
- I had no father figures. My parents were divorced before I ever had a conscious memory of my father.
Before I go any further with this, I’m going to include what I listed as the 5 Stages of Relationships in one of my old posts. Not everyone goes through these stages.
1. Honeymoon
This is the first stage of a relationship, where everything is as sweet as honey. There is no desire to look for faults, but rather enjoy every moment together. You learn the simple things about each other as you talk for hours. You might spend nights lying next to each other, watching movies, or eating dinner. This stage is highly dependent on the personalities of the couple. Two romantics are bound to be very mushy and you can expect it to be almost too gross to be cute.
2. Assimilation
This is when one becomes like the other. They start adopting each other’s habits and become less like themselves. It can be a good or bad thing. It’s likely they spend their time together when they’re not busy doing work. There’s still time for friends.
3. Turning Point
This is it. This is where you’ve started disclosure about the more serious things. Your significant other now knows about your past, your issues, your habits, and what bothers you. Vulnerability is now exposed. Fights are likely to ensue, and there is no definite result. However, now you’re learning to understand what a real relationship is about. This stage can continue for as long as it lasts.
4. Dependent Stage
Dependency is a common thing in times of depression. When life gets rough, you might find yourself trying to relieve your stress with your significant other. A need for a hug or someone’s shoulder to rest your head on. Sometimes, they’re the only reason for smiling in this world.
5. Final Destination
Few couples reach this stage. It requires ultimate trust in the other person. This is not perfection though. There are still arguments and other types of disagreements. This is true love though, infallible and unselfish. This should not be confused with the honeymoon stage.This is more than the romance in movies, it’s nonfiction. This person is the most important person in your life and their opinion matters. Hopefully, your destiny is tied together by an invisible red string.
Things didn’t really get better for me. One weekend, I found myself alone at Six Flags with two of my friends who were dating. I got a good understanding of the honeymoon stage that I previously described. I started to learn about romantic gestures and the behavior of couples, like holding hands or sitting together alone.
I had already learned about proper date etiquette from my cousin. He usually had a car to pick up his date and would treat the girl as a form of courtesy. He was really different than me. Remember, this is what I thought back then.
I found slight boosts for self-esteem in Xanga; I used to be an avid Xanga user. Because of blogrings, I would get random comments suggesting I was cute and sexy. Sometimes I would say thanks and even talk to them. One time, the girl’s boyfriend wanted me to back off. It was because I sang to her once—she asked me to. He responded with this.
“hey u better quit singing to my girl n shit. im for realz.”
After freshman year, I found myself on a spiritual journey called a retreat. It converted me into what you would call a “Jesus Freak” for the time being.
I understand that not everyone experiences this and I’m not going to argue about religion. I liked the idea of being a leader even though it was new to me. I still lacked the confidence. By the end of the retreat, I was introduced to a new type of love.
Lesson 4
Unconditional love is the best the kind of love.
This is a love thought to be unattainable. What I really think is that this is the love we seek. It is the first type of love we’re introduced to by our own parents. I’m sorry if this isn’t how you feel about your parents. This love would be listed with a quote such as
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”-Love Story(1980)
I don’t think this type of love can happen until marriage at the very least.
Next: Radio Girl
by tjisawsome