Read it; you won’t regret it.
January 2010.
It was winter break of my sophomore year and my then-boyfriend had been ignoring my calls and texts for two and a half weeks. Of course I became extremely sad. I got my heart broken for the first time a week before we went back to school. And, he did it over text in the middle of the night. He had been my first boyfriend. We had been together for six months and I thought it was love. But I was naive. I thought for sure I’d never have another boyfriend, at least not in high school.
January 12, 2010.
It was a Tuesday, the first day of second semester. I cried a lot that day. It would have been that guy’s and my seven month anniversary. I got my schedule changed because I didn’t think I could handle having a class with him.
In first period, which was French class, my (twin) sister told a good friend of ours who sat next to her what had happened. His name was Uriel. After our last period that day, which was English, Uriel came and asked me how I was doing, pretending not to know anything. I told him about the breakup even though I knew he already knew.
January 14, 2010.
I was still having a really hard time at school. In between classes a friend told me that some girl had told her that my ex was already asking her if they “had a chance.” I ran to the bathroom and broke down crying, again. During lunch time, I sat in a corner at the back of the school talking to my aunt on the phone. She had been praying for me and giving me advice on how to handle everything. (I think she was the reason I eventually got over my ex.)
I walked into English after lunch, crying. We had to choose a seat that would be our permanent seat for the semester. I didn’t have anyone who I socialized with in that class, so I started walking towards the back by myself. Uriel was already sitting in the front by the door. He saw me and called my name. He told me to sit in the empty desk next to him. I didn’t want to, but I thought it would be rude to say no, so I started making my way towards him. Before I could get there, another guy sat in the empty desk. Uriel asked him to move over one seat so I could be right next to him. I sat there and once everyone had a seat, the teacher told us to raise our hands if we wanted to change for the last time. I really wanted to. but I didn’t… My eyes were red and a couple classmates asked if I was okay. I lied and said I was.
Every afternoon after that, Uriel would always find a way to cheer me up in English class. I think he realized I felt lonely and sad, but he always managed to change that. And that’s when I realized I had a crush on him, a crush that would just grow and grow and grow.
February 24, 2010.
I had said something to Uriel that had pissed him off a few days before. I guess it was so bitchy of me that he decided to not talk to me. I was pissed at myself because I didn’t want him to hate me. On February 24th I had gone to school alone because my sister was sick. I had to ride the (public) bus home after school by myself. When the bus came, I let everyone get on and stayed at the bus stop by myself because I dislike crowded buses. I turned to my left and Uriel was hurrying to catch the bus. I quickly looked the other way because I knew that he was upset. Once the bus drove away, I looked to my left again, and Uriel was walking in my direction. He sat next to me and we started talking. He said he had just gotten on the bus, but got off because he saw me alone. I remember shaking the whole time. I was so nervous. A couple minutes later we saw his friend, who had gotten on the bus, coming towards us from the right side. He had gotten off the bus at the next stop to be with Uriel. He asked Uriel why he hadn’t got on, and Uriel told him he didn’t wanna leave me alone. I swear that was one of the best afternoons of my life.
March 18, 2010.
I must’ve been PMSing or something because I was really emotional that day. Uriel noticed that my sister and I had been fighting in the morning and I had a really crappy day. He was with us at the bus stop after school and asked my sister if I was okay. I was facing the other way because I was crying and didn’t want them to see me. I couldn’t hold in the tears for some reason. But she came over to ask me and found out that I was crying. When the bus came, he got one with us and stood by us. (It was a crowded bus.) That night on MySpace, Uriel randomly sent me a comment asking me if I wanted to chill and I said yes. I had never hung out with him. It made me nervous, but I couldn’t just change my mind.
March 19, 2010.
I didn’t have anyone to hang out with at school, and I was sitting against a wall next to my sister and her boyfriend at lunch. They were talking and enjoying each others company and I was listening to my iPod. I looked to my left and Uriel was walking towards me by himself. He told me he felt bad ‘cause I was alone and that I should walk around the campus with him. I didn’t want to, but he told me to get up. It was like a command, so I got up and left. We talked until it was time to go to class. He found me after school and we walked to the beach, which was less than a mile away.
We were very distant. Whenever we sat somewhere, I would sit three or four feet away. We talked that day a lot. He asked me a lot of questions. He asked me if I “liked” anyone. I lied and said I didn’t because I didn’t trust guys anymore. I asked him and he thought about it. Before he answered, I was thinking to myself that I shouldn’t have lied and at the same time wishing he’d say he liked me. He told me that he liked a girl named Kassandra “a little bit.”
My sister and her boyfriend met up with us right before sunset. After sunset, Uriel and I went home. When I got off the bus, which was a few stops before the stop he got off at, we said goodbye. There wasn’t even a goodbye hug.
That was the last day of school before spring break, so I knew it’d be two weeks before I saw him again.
Spring Break 2010.
Uriel and I talked constantly online, until way early in the morning. I don’t even know what we talked about, but we did, all the time. It was great. Sometimes he’d tell me to listen to a song I’d never heard before. Every time he named a new one, I’d listen to it right away. They were all love songs, like Hold My Hand by New Found Glory or Nothin’ On You by B.o.B. I kinda figured he had a thing for me like I did for him. Otherwise, why would he stay up ‘till three in the morning to talk to me? Every morning I’d get up and go online. I’d go online constantly until Uriel was online too and then we’d talk for the rest of day. Hours and hours at a time.
March 28, 2010.
My twin and I went for a jog. About halfway, we stopped to drink some water. I started feeling weird, really weird. My heart was beating faster than it ever had. Anyway, I fainted and collapsed onto the steps outside our door a few seconds later. We went inside when I was conscious again and I was crying because my mom yelled at me when she called from work and found out what happened. Basically, she made me feel like crap. I fell asleep on the couch and when I woke up I noticed Karla was chatting with Uriel. Once I went online later, he asked me if I was okay. He seemed worried; he actually cared about me more than my own mother.
April 2, 2010.
Uriel and I talked for forever that night. He posted some comments on my Formspring page and we talked “anonymously” on that while we chatted on MySpace at the same time. I knew right away it was him. Early the next morning, we were still talking and he finally confessed that he had feelings for me. The way he put it was “I’ve fallen for you.” I didn’t tell him I felt the same way, though. I’m not open about my feelings at all. Plus, I knew that he would be moving in a couple months and I didn’t think we’d ever be anything more than friends because of that. I wished we were, of course, but I knew that if we ended up together, it would hurt more when he left.
I honestly don’t know how I slept that night. It felt like the best thing that had ever happened to me, even though we weren’t dating or anything.
April 5, 2010.
It was time to go back to school and I was super nervous because I was going to see Uriel. I don’t think we talked much in first period. At lunch, I was with my sister, her boyfriend, and his best friend. We were just hanging out and Uriel showed up. I asked him why he was alone and he said to me that he wasn’t alone. He said he was with me. I thought that was the cutest thing.
April 9, 2010.
We hung out for the second time. First we went to my house and my grandma insisted on feeding us. Then we we walked around at the beach I took pictures of him, lots.
After that, we hung out almost every day at lunch time and pretty much every Friday. We grew closer and closer, but at the same time his departure day was getting closer and closer and it made me sad to think about it. In my mind, he’d move back to his hometown, fall in love with his ex-girlfriend and forget about me completely.
He became serious, I guess you could say, about the way he felt about me. He’d tell me that he was going to come back after graduating from high school (in two years) and travel with me because that’s what I wanted to do. He claimed he’d wait for me because he knew I wouldn’t be his girlfriend due to the fact that he’d soon be gone. He basically planned out a future with me as a part of it. I told him I’d wait too, but I don’t think he believed me.
April 27, 2010.
It was night time. I should have been in bed because I had school the next morning, but instead I was online. My grandma was moving 2,300 miles away the next morning. She was going to be gone for six months. I was extremely sad. She was the one who raised me and was practically my mother. She had lived with me my whole life. Uriel knew about this. He told me that he’d be there the next day, all day.
April 28, 2010.
My grandma was at the airport before I left for school. When I got on the bus that morning, I was still crying. Uriel was on that bus. He was never on the earlier bus that my sister and I took to school, but on that morning he was. He was with me all day just like he said he would be. He was the first to put a smile on my face that morning. He found ways to make me laugh on the most painful day of my life.
May 2010.
He asked me to be his girlfriend. I said no. I swore I’d wait, though. He was stubborn. He wanted me to be “his” before he was gone. He wanted it to be a for sure thing, so he asked me a couple more times in the next few weeks. I still said no.
May 28, 2010.
His parents wanted to meet me. (He had already met my family and they loved him.) So I went to his house for the first time. His dad was busy outside most of the time I was there, and I was inside talking to his mom. (Uriel had told me that he talked a lot about me to his parents.) I noticed his mom really did know a lot about me, like a lot a lot. It was kinda weird. At one point I asked her about Uriel’s ex-girlfriend. She said she never met her (even though they had dated for six months!) She’d only seen pictures of her. Apparently I was the first girl he’d ever introduced to his parents. He said that that alone should show how special I was to him. We weren’t a couple and his parents wanted to meet me, and he wanted me to meet them. His mom also told me that he said my name in his sleep a couple times before. She said Uriel was always talking about me. He even told her that we were getting married after high school. His parents had spent two years apart when they were young and they waited. They made it. If we got married, we’d have the same story they did.
I think that was the day that I realized how serious he was. And I knew that guys were almost never serious about relationships. I wanted a serious relationship (even though I was and still am young) and I knew from then that Uriel wasn’t just playing around. I knew that all the things we’d talked about, all the plans we’d made weren’t some joke.
June 9, 2010.
We spent the day together. When it was time for him to go, I walked to the bus stop with him. While we waited, he told me to be his girlfriend. He didn’t ask, he told me to be. I told me I’d think about it.
Summer break had started on the 4th. He was leaving soon, although we didn’t know exactly when, and he wanted to be with me as much as possible. He came over as much as he could and we did pretty much nothing. One time we sat on my couch for six hours talking and I still had an amazing time with him.
June 12, 2010.
It was my sister and her boyfriend’s one year anniversary. Uriel came over with his two little sisters and we took them to the beach. That afternoon, we were sitting on my couch while his sisters and my younger sister played outside. He made me sit next to him and told me to talk. I told him I loved him, I cared about him, and that I hoped he wouldn’t forget me. He asked if that was it. Then I finished with “I do want a long-distance relationship.” I remember him telling me that he wanted to cry of happiness. We were finally a couple. (Before the school year ended, he told everyone that we were dating so that they “knew I was taken.”) Now I really was taken.
When he and his sisters were gone I went over to my sister’s boyfriend’s house to take pictures of them. When I came back home, Uriel was online and he told me that he was given a departure date. It was in six days. A couple days later, though, it was changed to two days earlier.
We spent so much of his time left here together. (He was going back home, but his family was moving somewhere else). I knew they wouldn’t see each other for a while and I felt bad because he wanted to spend more time with me than with his family.
June 16, 2010.
He sang and played a song that he wrote for me to me. It was the sweetest thing ever.
June 17, 2010.
We said goodbye.
He was able to visit from August 10th to the 19th. I had started my junior year and he was still on break, so most of those days we only spent a few hours together, but they were amazing.
He started school a couple weeks ago. I know that he’s been meeting girls and he knows that I’ve met guys, but we trust each other. We have a healthy relationship. We talk on the phone on most days and we don’t fight. He still brings up how I used to be so distant, as in I wouldn’t sit next to him four or five months ago. He also still talks to me about the things we’ll do and the things we’ll have when we’re older. He’s still mine. I hope we make it. I hope no girl steals his heart because no one makes me quite as happy as he does. I wouldn’t mind spending forever with him.
Mine: http://kindofinlove.tumblr.com
His: http://urinallonme.tumblr.com