*I would like to remain anonymous. Thank you.*
This is a photo of me and Nels, a friend I have lost. To this day, she is still dear to me. Our friendship began its fresh page in grade 8 and continued its course throughout high school, but ended abruptly three years later due to a mistake I have made. Without going into the details, in grade 8, we were known to ourselves as Running Club Buddies, grade 9, Staples & Tack Buddies, grade 10, Sam’s Bulllied and Slightly Masochistic Buddies, and in grade 11, You’ve-Got-My-Back-and-Hand-to-Hold-and-Shoulder-to-Cry-on Buddies. That was when it had ended, when I had taken her for granted and hadn’t given her enough of my time and attention as I focused on a new relationship in my life - that with my lover of today. Hers were the shoulders I had cried on when I had been so confused over him, hers were the hands I had held on tightly when I had plunged hard and fast into the daunting abyss of love. Now, he and I are intimately inseparable, together yet independent and strong, and I have her, and many others who have stood by me and guarded me then, to thank for the love I am able to experience at this very moment. It saddens me every time I think about how one relationship’s success had meant another’s demise, and though I want her back more than anything else in the world, I find myself in one of those situations in which you wonder if anything could have happened differently. When you change a cause, you change the outcome. Who can know? It has taken much courage to contact her in the midst of our broken, awkward relationship and request this sole photo of us, so reminiscent of our younger, freer, and more innocent days.
And when I had clicked “download”, I saw that the image had bore my name, following the words “j’adore”.
*www.justyourstruly.tumblr.com*