if this confuses you, then read the first part of the story down below then read this after…
so i worked for him for about september to mid of october, picture on here was thee ever last time i held on to him. thing is i know i messed up but i didnt want to go down without a fight, i fought for someone who mattered to me a lot, because if you love someone why just watch them walk away from you when you could do something to hold them and do something to make them stay… well he made me think we had a chance, i worked and worked and i gave it all i had but it wasnt enough. i was going into this work field blinded, i had no idea how he was feeling for me, after 19months of dating, he finally told me how he felt for me on his birthday. man it wasnt how i imagined it to be, i thought he would tell me, “i love you and i wouldnt let you go” and all that mushy positive jumbo, but it was the complete opposite, to make it not that detailed, “i only care for you, no more than that”. well there goes the line that opened my eyes to reality…
were back to being strangers once again, one who meant the entire universe to me, the one who meant more than my own life, is now again a stranger in my life. i dont regret working for him for that long, because i knew it was either his love for me was really that strong, or maybe he was just leading me on, and it turned out to be the other choice. im not mad at him for it, because i know not a lot of people could forgive that easy, and i didnt expect someone to stay with someone who once betrayed him so i fully understand.
i do love this guy, i always will and slowly it will lose its strength until i wont love him anymore than just a friend. i wanted to thank him actually…
thank you for opening my eyes, that i too could commit mistakes i thought i would never even encounter but learn from them too. its hard to be in love, because after loves gone, you get so lost. im so lost. but im trying very hard to fight my way back. i dont regret anything we did… i fought with my all and i pushed through and i gave it all i got, no regrets. i could keep my feelings all at once, but i cant ever shut my heart. i know everyone wants me to move on, but its easier said than done but im not sitting here moping and crying that ive lost you, because if our love both hurt us then i guess God really has something better instore for us. its not going to be you and me together, we have separate ways now and maybe it really is better this way. i wish you nothing but the best, and if i was good to you, someone will be even better and i wish that someone has much of a better mister chubs than i do, mister nibbles for you to play with, and someone who fits you perfectly great. im going to miss you, and i will have my moments where i will reminisce about everything that went on between us, and im glad i found someone like you, someone who i thought was extinct but you were found, and after april 11th of 2010, i will forever love you. i meant it when i said that, it was hard and itll get harder as the farther as we get from each other but know that you meant a lot to me, you still do but maybe its not us, its not how we once wished it to be. but i had to let go because i was hurting too much, and i had to give up because we both knew our love wasnt enough anymore and we had to move on because things weren’t like before. and its certain theres someone out there who will love each of us even more, there always will. but for now, i want to focus on me. im not in a rush to get over you, im going to take my time, and if people are against that then oh well. you cant rush progress, you have to sit there and wait until things work out in the pace you want it to move to.
im sorry i ever hurt you, i wish all i ever made you feel was happiness and gladness but ive made you cry and angry and im sorry for everything, thank you tho, for teaching me everything that i learned from you. you are a good person, thank you for giving us a shot even though we both knew it was going to be a tough one but hey we gave it a shot and it didnt lead us to our happy ending that we once wished it would be, but it lead us to our goodbye. take care aris… i do love you wholeheartedly.
im going to miss you misterarisappababyboobearpeanutbuttergibbymistersnugglesreyes.you take care now handsome, thank you for giving me a chance what its like to have my dreams come true…soon enough, when im ready, i will dream again, and this time, it will be much bigger. ive invited you in my heart at 2:33am, and you’ll stay there even if you’ve left, my memories with you will always be treasured.
http://fuckyeahhlove.tumblr.com/post/9968760672/sorry-if-this-isnt-your-typical-love-story-that
by karmelizzie