It’s been about 7 months. 4 more months to go.
This isn’t your typical hollywood boy-meets-girl-and-fall-in-love relationship. It’s a story about going through hardship, heartache, pain and how in the end, I can say for sure that it’s worth every single teardrop.To keep it short, I met him and at first I kept a distance away from him because I thought he was dangerous. I was right. Soon after we started talking we ended up dating. There was a lot of hardship, a few break ups here and there at the beginning and it was hard for us both to stay faithful.
But after everything we went through, we started falling more in love with each other and now we enjoy a happy healthy relationship. It was a nightmare and a drama/soap opera that sent us both into a lot of problematic situations. Some of my friends don’t like him, some of them do and it’s hard for me to cope but it’s definitely better.
But even now, It’s not easy. It’s not easy because I love him, he loves me, but soon that’s going to have to end.
He’s leaving to another country in a few months and as much as we love each other, I have to let him go. I will not hold him back by being an attachment from home. He needs to start a new life there and I can’t do long distance. It doesn’t mean I don’t love him enough, but I know that I can’t commit to something like that.
It’s sad. It’s heartbreaking. It’s horrifying. I cry every night at the thought of him leaving and as the day draws closer and closer, I get more afraid and more sad. I know we still have a few months and i’m determined to make it the best months we ever had but I can’t help but imagine that in less than 14 weeks, we have to become strangers again.
Because after loving him this much, I don’t think I can bear to see him with someone else. However, I do wish him happiness. I wish him happiness and joy and love and everything in the world he deserves and so much more. He will be something great in the future and although I may not be there beside him then, I’m just glad I got to spend special moments with him and have a place in his life journey.
This is about a love that’s beautiful and one of the happiest moments of my life—bittersweet with a nearing ending but I don’t regret any moment. This is a message to couples out there: you never know when your relationship is going to end. You never know how much time you have left with each other. Cherish every second, every minute, every moment of it and make sure you don’t regret a single thing.
Shout-out to my love:
Babe, I love you. I love you so much that I can’t remember what it’s like not loving you anymore. Thank you for loving me, for being there for me, for being my boyfriend because you’ve made me so incredibly happy it’s amazing. I know i’ve said this all before but i’m going to keep saying it and keep reminding you how much of an impact you’ve made in my life. You’re my first proper boyfriend (with the dating and stuff) and you’ve made my first relationship so special. I know we said that forever never lasts and that we were going to end one way or another but I’m just glad that I’ve been able to be in love with you. I’m so glad we’ve been a part of each others life.
Let’s make the time we have left memorable okay? I promise i’ll try to stop crying. Try.
xx Your Panda