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Donnie, you have no idea how much I miss you, I feel beyond...

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Donnie, you have no idea how much I miss you, I feel beyond empty. I went to visit your little memorial your mom set up for you and I saw this picture. It was honestly heartbreaking. I sat there and I broke down, you could ask anyone. I sit there for hours until someone tells me I should leave. I sit there and talk to you all day, hoping that one day I will finally wake up out of this horrible nightmare. I know none of this is helping me, I know going to visit you isn’t the best thing, but I have to do it. I feel a little bit better after an hour of talking to you.

I went to see your mom today, I spent 5 hours with her. It was honestly much needed. We talked about you all day, pulled out your baby pictures and cried together. It was hard going back to your house and not seeing you or hearing “yoohoo Peri girl, come gimme a smooch!” Everyone is missing you Donnie. Our towns even more depressing without you. You put the sunshine in everyones life, even if you didn’t think so. This has effected more people then you could imagine.

Everywhere I go I hear “Peri I’m so sorry about Donnie, things will get better!” And I hate hearing that. Things won’t get better, at all. You were my better. You made everything worth it and now that your gone I don’t think I could ever see myself being AS happy as I was. You were there to catch me when I fell, you were there to wipe my tears, you were just there for everything.

This isn’t easy, and I knew it wasn’t going to be. But, I’d like you to know that I am mad at you, but sooner or later I’ll forgive you. I just don’t see why you did it. I feel as if some of it was my fault. I know you are a lot happier up there, but i’d love if you’d stop playing hide and seek and come back out!

Seems like just yesterday you were making me give you a piggy back ride through the Zoo and everyone laughing at us! Or when we went through the drive through and you had a bra on & a wig. You were my smile baby.

BUT, I have one promise for you that I’ll never ever break! I cross my heart & hope to die stick a needle in my eye <3 I pinky promise, every single day from now till forever that i’ll send you a letter, i’m going to attach it to a balloon, a red one. Along with that letter will be a picture of us and a kiss with your favorite lip gloss I used! <3

It isn’t going to be easy, but nothing about you was ever easy Mr. Donnie! I plan on being mad at you for a while, but I know you’ll do something to make me forgive you, like always.

Stay strong up there baby, smile down on us every once in a while! OH and throw your birds up.

I love you; 3 years. Forever, even if your gone.

rest in peace :*

by xoperi


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