Do you ever find it hard to get that one person out of your mind? I mean, you can try as hard as you want to place them deep in the back of your mind- but they’re always going to be there, kicking your head— reminding you of old times and refreshing your memory with every inanimate object that has the slightest bit to do with them.
Well that’s how it is for me and this boy. On and off, back and forth. But always living in the moment.
And even though I’ve tried to get him out of my head, I can’t. I’ve tried moving on; even started seeing other people. But that didn’t work. He came back into my life just recently, and i felt pathetic how quickly I dropped everything else in my life to be with him. But love isn’t pathetic. Never think twice about that, because if you’re doing all of that for one person- then there has got to be something there for you. If you give up, it just proves that it wasn’t love in the first place.
So I sit here in his large hockey jacket, which is saturated in his handsome scent, wondering why it’s always him that I come back to. And then I remember. it’s everything:
The way his breaths are longer and deeper than that of my own, how his chest rises and falls while he rests beside me, the softness of his hair or the way he looks at me, the intensity of his eyes, the direction of his facial hair, the way he smells, his voice, how he speaks to me with respect and love… I could continue on for eons.
and to him:
Babe, “HHB”, just know that I love you for who you are. There is no one else I would rather be with. It’s you. It’s always going to be you.