I've loved him for so long. We don't fit. We never have. It's been a roller coaster. I wrote this about our story: (I know it's extremely long, but if you could read it, you'd save my life. ) You lied. You told me it would last forever. You told me I wouldn’t get hurt. I wouldn’t get addicted. It would be just some little fling. I can’t take the complete heartache you bring me. I can’t understand why this keeps happening. I’m just one fish in the sea, but you keep casting your line directly at me. And I fall for it. Fall hard. Every time. So, will you? My reply: Sure, why not? Why not? Because you’re too young to know better. You are much too young to feel this way. You’re too young to be in love. You are too young to be heartbroken. But you’re never too young. You can be heartbroken. You can be promised something, only to have your heart crushed. I promise. The two words I will never forget left his mouth. That’s when I knew I was in love. That’s when I knew. Wow, this might actually work. He made every moment feel like there might be a bit of magic in store. Then there was: I love you. I fell for it. My heart skipped a beat just thinking about him. We loved each other, it was officially. I came over; he gave me the most beautiful ring. How could anything go wrong? Then, he left. When he came back, there were things to be discussed. But first I missed him. I missed him so much. He cheated on me. He denied it. I denied it. It was forgotten, until it happened again. We fought. How could he do this to me? He promised. I cried. And I cried. We would wait; see how things would turn out. See how we both felt. I felt I needed him too much. He didn’t need me. That’s what I wanted in the first place, the chase. But it was getting tiresome. It was too much. He thought so too. Then it was over. But is it really? After everything we’ve been through. On again. Off again. Let’s not talk at all. Let’s flirt for hours. Let’s pretend that you don’t exist. Let’s pretend that I don’t exist. He told me he loved me last week. That he misses me. He wants me back. But how could I take him back? When I know that I love him more, and he'll only break my heart?

First off, I just want to say I’m very sorry you had to go through all of this. Love is not always gentle. :(

I would advise you not to take him back. But if you think you want to, think it through carefully. It’s clear that you don’t trust him, and you have no reason to, of course.

Normally, I am not fully against cheating. Sometimes things happen, people make mistakes, etc. If my boyfriend cheated on me once, I’d still take him back. But cheating twice is no accident, and in my book, that is not forgivable. Your problem in the relationship was lack of communication. After the first time, you should have talked it through instead of ignoring it and moved on. Even if talking it through led to fighting, it still would have helped. I’m not telling you this so you can beat yourself up over what you should’vecould’vewould’ve done. It’s just so that you don’t make the same mistakes in the future. 

I always say that the three main things in a relationship are communication, trust, and honesty. All of them link together in a way, and the lack of even one of them could be disastrous. If you’re lacking two, it’s probably just not meant to be. But that does not mean that this is the end! It’s just a obstacle you have to push yourself through until you find the one who completes you, and won’t put you through so much pain. <3