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My Life.

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This is a story how i stupidly lost the love of my life

About almost a year ago i lost my gf of 2 years I knew we were falling apart. I couldnt take it that she wanted to leave. My heart couldnt handle it i tried to get her back i keep telling her that i love her but she doesnt love me anymore. 

” Im sorry Mark i cant deal with it” those words still makes me cry. I miss her in general her gorgeous smile, her beautiful soft lips, everything! I miss her. Its all my fault. I kept lying her, making her wait, reschedule our dates, i even made her wait 4 hours to go on a date because i forgot. I forgot a lot of things i almost forgot her birthday. 

I was a terrible bf i knew it too, i knew i was hurting her and she desperately wanted to leave but i wouldnt let her. She loved me so much and she was patient and sweet to me even though i wasnt. When i knew she was falling out of love with me my heart just dropped. I knew I gotta make a change to show her that I care. “its too late you dont have to try anymore I give up”  I replay those words in my head. 

I did noting but hurt her when she wanted to leave the first time i told her no i’ll change and try and do better but i didnt. I take back all the times i ditched her for my friends and going out. I even almost cheated on her cause of a nasty argument. When i see her laughing and smiling i think about all the times we had. One day i asked her what do you remember the most? She paused and said arguing and fighting. I knew from that moment she didnt want me anymore. Even my friends my Bestfriend told her to leave me because she looked miserable, I couldnt believe it I caused that much pain to someone I love, especially  her. I love her still im living in the past that i cant let go. It was too good to be true, someone who made me more happy than anyone was now someone else’s. 

I failed to see her i would make excuses and sometimes i said i would go but i wouldnt. I lied to her constantly and she knew it too. When it finally hit me she was already out of love she didnt want to try. I still love her to this day my feelings never went away and i dont think it ever will. 

by anonymous


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