This is an email my ex-boyfriend had written me while he was away and couldn’t talk to me. We had been together in a long distant relationship for 7months at the time. I ended it shortly after he got back and as I reread this email now I know, I let go one of the best things in my life.
Tonight i lie awake. i attempt to sleep, yet fitfully i toss, my mind becominga turbulent sea of thoughts. the waves crash down upon themeselves, each one a thought. One of my passions, Mabinogi, occupies a massive section of this malevolent storm which keeps my thoughts from lulling into sweet unconsciousness. it creates a whirlpool of ideas, calculations, plans, hopes, fears, all tumbling together
into a frightening maelstrom with booming thunder to match. although me fevered mind can hardly believe it, there seems to be a clearing…a serene beatific utopia of tranquility, nestled in perfect harmony amongst the chaos. Unbelievably, my struggle is not in vain, for i have reached the sandy shore of this glorious island. somehow it seems to still be connected to the violent thoughts of Mabinogi, yet
unlike all the other parts (that seem to demand attention, wrenching me from my sleep) this island is… different. a tangent of the game that has its own meaning, its own purpose, its own life. and what a wonderful thing it is. as i lay back onto the warm sand, i close my eyes and smile, finally piecing together what could possibly mean this much. here, all is calm, all is peacful. i know that here, in you arms, nothing else matters. tonight i will find my rest, for tonight… i dream of you, my valentine <3
I just want to say even though he can’t see this. I love you Kieran, and I hope one day I can call you mine again.
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