i just recently lost someone that meant alot to me, i dont mean lost as in a death, i mean breakup. i started liking him around the begining of april, only a minor crush at first. but then another guy came along, he was a sweet talker which i tend to fall easily for. so i ended up with him. we lasted about 3 weeks then i ended it with him. within those 3 weeks i stopped talking to this minor crush of mine. after the breakup i started talking to this crush again and he was already someones elses lover so i couldnt have him and i knew that. for some reason it didnt stop me from having feelings for him. they grew stronger and i could tell i was falling for him. i became very vulnerable. id talk to him every day and if i didnt it was like something was wrong, like nothing felt right. he controlled how i felt.. like one minute he would say something that would have me half crying then the next he would say something sweet and amazing that had my heart fluttering. i was always there for him when he needed someone to talk to. he was having some trouble in his relationship and the thought of him being hurt made me upset so i tried my best to make him have some hope. always telling him it would be okay. and at times he was there for me too, when i was down he would tell me to live life and dont let stupid things bring me down, little did he know that half the time i was upset about how i couldnt have him. at one point in time he told me he had feelings for me, this is something his girlfriend didnt know and he had no intentions on telling her, so his bestfriend told his girlfriend and this started something i thought i couldnt deal with. his bestfriend and him never spoke for about 2 weeks and him and his girlfriend broke up, but they ended up back together later on. he had to make a decision, between me or her. he picked her, i was upset. but i knew i was only and option to him. after that he would always tell me to move on and get over him, but easier said then done. after that things just went back to normal, i didnt much like normal. he was with her and they were mostly okay, a scattered time they would argue and i was there for him through it, but nothing too serious. id be just a girl to him. i was never really happy, always upset. i was stuck waiting for him, i didnt know for sure if there was gonna be a day where he would be mine but i was holding on to a false hope. he would tell me sometimes that he had thought about being with me which made me feel good but i knew it was just a thought. one day he showed up and my house with his bestfriend, i didnt expect them so i was pretty nervous. we walked around for a bit. they both were hinting around about something. then he told me him and his girlfriend broke up, but i didnt believe it at first, so he showed me the proof. but then i thought they are just gonna end up back together. so i told him i wasnt getting my hopes up because i knew they would just get back together but he swore he was done with her. so i believed him. he hugged me while we walking later on. when they left and i got home, i texted him right away. he said he liked tonight. so from then on things only got better. a few nights later he kissed me, he said he thought about doing it before. every day id spend with him we just became more like a couple, more like there was an “us”. then he asked me to date and obviously my answer was yes. i spent pretty much every second day with him for 9 days. they were the best 9 days ive had in a long time, and very long time. i couldnt be more happier. he said he i made him happy and that there was nothing wrong with us. that he looked into my eyes and knew he was lucky he picked me. told me he was sure he loved me. i felt so happy, like nothing could ruin this. then one day he just told me he didnt think he liked me like he thought he did, that he likes someone else. everything he said was a lie. just to think that the day before he told me he loved me. i begged him to stay, asked him if there was anything i could do to change his mind. i told him i was sorry for anything i done to make him think i didnt love him. he said he didnt want to talk about it but i didnt take no for an answer so i took him off to the side and asked him why did this just happen all of a sudden and if i done anything wrong. i tried my hardest not to cry. he wouldnt even look at me. he barely spoke. i asked him if he liked someone else like he said he did, then he said no. i just walked away. he lied to my face, he did like someone else. she just walked into the picture and stole him from me. all this happened in one day, yesterday. i cried the majority of the day and never slept beside the two hour nap i took. i cant believe this happened, it wasnt suppose to happen, everything was perfect. i just keep going over it and over it in my head, crying and thinking to myself it will be okay in time. hes got someone else now, they both like eachother. i hate her for taking him. i told her to make sure she keeps him happy cause he deserves the best. all i want is for him to be happy, even if that means im miserable. i hope hes happy with the decisions he makes. i just wish yesterday never happened. even after all this, after he hurt me in the worst way possible, i still love him.
Submitted by alwayslovemealways: