Have you ever fallen in love with a person who just doesn’t love you love back? It hurts doesn’t it? Especially if you’re the type of person who wasn’t looking for love at all, especially in a place you least expected to fall in love in? You know, the type of love where you play through your head thinking you’ll know when you fall in love when magical things happen in a magical sequence? Well, lemme tell you one thing, it’s nothing like that. NOTE, keep track of the events I’m saying, because all of them have their own memorable dates.
I’m the guy who fell in love in a place where I hated the most, school. Look, I am the type of guy who keeps it straight. I don’t go out unless necessary, I’d rather spend my saturday nights in the internet than meeting people and yeah, I am a very competitive person. I am not the friendliest person you will ever meet, I’m kind of a snob but I do have a couple of friends. And that’s where it all started.
You see, I befriended this girl back in the freshmen year of college, now I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking I met her and we had so many things in common and so we fell. Oh man, you are so wrong. She and I were exact opposites. She’s a veggie person, and me, well, I don’t even eat anything green. She likes this mellow, cute-like music, and I like alternative rock. She has no sport, and I was a varsity player back then in highschool. I could make a long boring list of how different we are but my point is WE ARE NOTHING ALIKE. It’s like the two opposite poles or the magnet, EXACT OPPOSITES.
When in class, you would find us quarrelling, teasing, fighting, cursing each other over some fuck off random topic. It could not even be a topic, it could just be you mispronouncing a word, then BOOM, we’ll go at each other. Classmates find it funny sometimes on how we fight, but lemme tell you something, I WIN MOST OF THE TIME, so HAHA to you little girl.
But you know, life doesn’t end at school. We got each others email accounts, and just like in school, fights via IM. But you know, amidst all the fighting, we considered each other “friends”. We laugh, sometimes, like you know, sometimes when there’s funny to laugh at and we’re both laughing at the same thing, that kind of stuff.
Well, time came when she had her first boyfriend, it was all swell and stuff for her. And me? Well, I didn’t even give a damn back then. But everytime they would fight, she would always come for me for comfort and advice. It’s like she considers me a real friend, or maybe it’s because I’m too lazy to get out and mingle and that means I’m always online. Yeah, that could be a reason. In any case, she goes for me for advice. Well, for me, I’m not really an advice-r, I let her do all the talking and what I do is I ask. I let her vent out because I know that’s what girls are just looking for sometimes.
I know love is complicated, it’s difficult. Love is just like any other person, it’s different. Giving love advices seem like it doesn’t really work, because love is different from everyone elses.
Time came when her boyfriend started taking her for granted, abusing her, giving her “empty” threats, and if you really know me, I’m not the kind of guy who just sit around knowing that some douchebag is getting his kicks out of hurting girls, of course, I was there for her, I started helping her out on her problems. But you know girls when it’s there first love, they find it very hard to let go of that person (something I really envy by the way). But you know, I was determined as well to help her out.
Time passed, things changed. You could say we got very close to each other. April 1, April fools day, we even fooled everyone in class we were, somehow, “magically” a couple. I couldn’t forget that day you know? It really meant a lot to me.
And what started as a joke, went on to become far more serious. Well, you could say that I…I’ve….okay…I’ve fallen in love with her. Something I, nor everyone, wouldn’t have thought of. Things went well, I told her I was already in love with her, she answered politely with her loving me back. We dated just like any other normal couples, we went to a mall, movie houses, ate lunch together, a normal “couple”.
But our classmates didn’t take it very well, my friends thought I was just her rebound relationship, and her friends thought that I was just taking advantage of her break-up, the others? well, they’re just assclowns who couldn’t join in. They tried to separate us, her friends saying bad things about me, my friends saying bad things about her but you know what? We were both determined to keep our love, to fight the odds, and to prove that opposites do attract.
Well, time went by, we were a couple on fire. Up until Independence Day, oh yeah sweet, at first we began at April Fools, this time, it’s Independence Day. You know what I found out that day? That she was cheating on me. Not on anyone I don’t know, NO, she had to cheat on me with her ex boyfriend, well, she only had one ex boyfriend. You know what, I have never cried so hard, so long, I’ve never experienced to gasp for air just because you’re crying and I’ve never experienced to cover my mouth just for the people outside not to hear you cry, and you know what, I’ve experienced it all that night. HELL, I PUT MYSELF TO SLEEP CRYING.
Whadya think happened?…End of story?… No not yet…
You see, I’ve been told that cheating is relevant. That it is only cheating when you get caught, otherwise, it is viewed as intelligence. She realized she made a mistake, she cried, begged for forgiveness, she even told her family what happened. Her own family punished her for it, she wasn’t smart, she got caught. And one thing I don’t know about me is the fact that I always have a soft spot for girls who are hurt, it’s like whatever I do, I just can’t turn my back to them.
The dumbest thing I’ve ever done? I have forgiven her, thinking that she would make up for it by not lying to me, by being open to me, by always making sure that I was the only one, WELL YOU BLEW AWAY MY SELF ESTEEM, that’s the least you could do, right? Well, I was wrong…
She thought we could just jump back to the relationship again, thinking that we could just forget it never happened. I thought so too. But we were both very wrong.
Yeah, we continued our relationship, but it’s nothing like that what we had once before. I started to become overprotective, jealous, and a little paranoid while she began to hide somethings from me, continued to lie. In short, Hell happened for the both of us. But you know what, believe it or not, I AM WORKING REALLY REALLY HARD, putting so much effort, and if given more time, I could have fixed things up. But you know what they say, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”. She broke up with me.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a couple of girlfriends, a decent amount of short term relationships as well but this one, this one just stinged me so hard that I literally feel like my heart is breaking, that it’s drowning. I was intoxicated for a couple of days, okay weeks, FUCK, it was months. I tried so hard to show her that I can make things work, that I could make her happy again, and that , THIS TIME, I’m the one in need of a second chance. But you know what happened? I became the man that she deserves, but not really what she wanted. I got hurt so badly, I got depressed, I seek professional help, everything to get over her. But how can you get over someone that you see everyday? You don’t, unless you drop out of school, which I won’t do because I’m still determined to finish my studies and a part of me still wants to see her.
Not so long after the break-up came when I started seeing her being all smiley and happy talking with someone, ‘till I knew it was a guy interested in her. I confronted her about it, but she said she was just not looking for any relationship right now. But what happens when everything you hear is not what everything you see? Everything turns out to be a lie. And that’s what it is right now, I’m living on a lie. A lie that I don’t miss her anymore, a lie that I don’t care about her anymore, A lie that I don’t want to be friends with her, a lie that I don’t wanna see her, a lie that I didn’t write up to 267 fucking pages of everything about her, A lie that she is not everything to me, is just a lie. And I’m living on it right now.
So yeah, I’ve fallen in love with a person who doesn’t love me back. It hurts yes. I fell in love in the most dangerous place I could fall in love in. This story is not yet over.