I have been thinking about submitting a story about a guy and I after I came upon this tumblr - which is a great outlet for people from all around the world to share their beliefs in love, their love stories and most importantly, to give people hope that love exists, despite the ugliness in this world. I could go on and on about this guy I will never forget in my whole life, and it took quite some time for me to figure out how do I write this without missing any little detail, small sweet things that he have done for me just to make me smile. For the first time in my life, I’ve found someone who understand what it means to have your hopes dashed or your promises broken or your feelings hurt.
I was a cold mean jerk. I met him on a chat site that I went on before to kill time, to annoy people, to start debates and stuff. I was seventeen when we met. He did not make an impression but we did exchange emails - god knows why. Even so, we did not talk to each other. I told him he was weird for some reason I’ve long forgotten about. He disappeared from the scene of MSN shortly after. I saw him back on around May 2009 and started a conversation. I was STILL the same cold mean jerk back then. I talked to him because I was bored and I forgot who the heck he was. An hour’s talk became two and soon we talked every single day without fail. Because of the time difference, he had to make the sacrifice of waking up as early as 6AM every day for 6 months just to spend two hours online with me. He did short videos and wrote long emails as long as 5542 words. He did all those to make me happy, to show that he cared for him and to show that I am of some importance to him. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said, “Yes.” I don’t see why not.. especially after all that he has done despite the fact that he has limited resources to. He did another video for my 18th birthday and that was when I realized I’ve fallen in love with a guy I’ve never met before in person. The funny thing is that it did not bother me at all - what bothered me most was the fact that there is a high possibility that I might never have this guy in my life for the whole of my life.
Things were up and down during the months we were together. I was a bitch, I swear. I treated him badly because I was going through a tough period in school and back at home. He was always there for me and was the only person I’ve let to see me cry so openly on the cam. But I lose it. I lose it when everything fell apart. Nothing was wrong with him. I hated myself so much. I was so angry towards everything and everyone to the point I did not know what to do. I was lost and I had no one to turn to. He took all the blows from my demons and believe me, he will never be the one who deserves a girl like that. We broke up on november because he realized that I needed some time to sort things out on my own. But I did not see it that way. I saw it as him backing out, him leaving me to overcome my demons on my own and him leaving me for someone else. I was so upset that I told him to never come back and true enough, he never did.
The fact that he did not return slapped hard on my face. It was hard enough to woke me up from my pathetic self but it was too late. What they say is true - you never know what you’ve got till it’s gone. I had nothing but his one and only email address. There was no way for me to get him back except through emails. I wrote him every day, left him messages every day and prayed hard that he would sign on and read everything I’ve sent. Days went by and he did not return. My heart was dead but I willed myself to move on because I screwed up and I had no one to blame but myself. I’ve never stopped wishing for him to come back, but I’ve stopped expecting it to happen.
I got better as time went by. I’ve stopped hating myself and that only happened because I moved out. On 29 October 2010, he came back. I will never forget that day. I was shocked but he was fine with me. He told me he joined the army and so he did not manage to check his emails etc. I was not affected by his return, but only more assured by the fact that throughout all those months, I’ve never gotten over him. I did not make it obvious though. I waited and after a week, I confessed. He already knew my feelings for him from the emails but he made it clear that our chance was over. I was upset but I told myself that I had to do it RIGHT this time. I turned myself back into the same old cold mean jerk before and for some odd reason, the fact that I did not care about him anymore made him upset. I did not stop caring. The only thing I did was stop showing. We started talking more often again and he made the effort to come on to talk to me.. just like before. Things carried on from there and then he told me his feelings for me were reignited when he saw me on cam for the first time in a long while.
I was really happy. I was so glad that I went against the odds and waited for him. We got back together and it was great. I am planning to visit him in S.Korea after I am done with my international college program with Disney in Florida on September.
When something or someone is worth loving, then it is worth fighting for. For all of the people out there, keep the faith in your heart. Love is real; it is not just an emotion.
Submitted by e-ucatastrophe