May 18th, 2010 - MEPS, Fort Hamilton, Brooklyn, NY
This photo marks the day my lover Carl J. McSweeney shipped out for U.S Army Basic Training. For the past few years he hasn’t met the requirements for the military, until we met. I knew from the get-go he had military aspirations, because we vaguely knew each other in High School in our AFJROTC program. I was totally against him leaving—not because I didn’t want to be apart from him, even though clearly, I’d miss him—but because his health wasn’t the best. But I knew this was what he wanted… and who was I to take that away from him?
And so… from early Dec ‘09 - Feb ‘10, I helped my boy study. I tutored his ass off. And in February, he took his ASVAB test in which he passed with flying colors, scoring himself a 53 which was more than 15 points higher than before; and making him eligible to join the U.S Army Rangers. The best of the best: his dream.
We weren’t talking when he passed the test. We’ve been through all hell and back in this short time, on and off ourselves. But I saw him in March for the first time in about 2 weeks, and he handed me the paper, and said, “Thank you, Jevalynn, for getting me into the Army.”
I was happy for him. I was proud. He doubted himself, but I pushed him harder no matter how much he had hurt me in the past— I pushed him to his limit. And he succeeded. But then reality slowly hit… and I cried. I cried my eyes out for the first time in months. And Carl? He just held me, and cried with me, holding me so tight to his chest as we cried on his bed. And we kissed.
I’ll never forget the feelings I felt that night. I think everyone has that relationship— the one you just cannot shake for such a long time; the relationship everyone judges you for; the relationship that you lose and gain people back and forth. That’s what we are. That’s what Jevalynn and Carl are.
He’s been gone for months now, doing his training; and everyday, I wait for the mailman and run to the mailbox for a letter. And I save them all, in a shoe box, along with his name badge he sent in one from his army ACUS uniform.
I don’t know where we’re going. I don’t know if we’ll ever make it through this. But I love him, and that’s all that matters; and I’ll support him through whatever it is he wants. And I’m proud of my army man— yes, My Army Man; because I’m the one who, even though I’ve only been here for a year, I’ve affected him the most. I’ve stood by him the most and optimized his perception on life. I got him into what he wanted, and because of that, I will be eternal in his heart.