Quantcast
Channel: der schöne Blog
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 6371

The Dark Side of America

$
0
0

My feet slowly traced the wooden dock as I took my time walking down the edge. I watched the sun rest on the water’s horizon, wishing to see the silhouette I’ve been waiting too long to lay my eyes on. The smell of salt filled my nostrils as I allowed myself a seat on the edge of the wood. I sat still and listened to the waves whisking back and forth on top of each other. Seagulls called out to each other to break the peaceful quiet, scraping the orange sky with their swift movement. I closed my eyes to breathe in the summer air, the air from the sea, the sky, the salt. I breathed it all in, letting it wash over me. I awaited your return on the edge of the dock that day, caressing the envelopes in my hands. You had sent four throughout the years, as many as you could send. The heart shaped seals were broken and cracked from the envelopes being opened and closed again one too many times. The envelopes themselves had rips at the corners, the once blankly white paper getting to be too old.

As I traced the paper with my fingers, I filled my mind with memories. I tried to remember the feeling of your presence with mine, the way your lips tasted, the static between our hands when we touched. But it was hard to recall, much to my disappointment. I faintly remember the warmth of your body heat near mine, how your eyes looked when you were scared, or how your soothing voice sounded when it breathed it’ll be okay.

“I promise you, we’ll be okay.” You said, your eyes as loving as they were allowed. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I desperately searched for words to say.

“I know we will. I’m not worried about us. I’m, well, I’m worried about you.” You grabbed my hands, entangling them in yours as if to take them into safekeeping, and brought them up to your face, resting them against your mouth. You closed your eyes and lightly kissed my hands. Your eyes met mine.

“I will never leave you alone.” You whispered.

I remember how your breath felt on my fingers, still so close to your mouth. I closed my eyes and visualized the memory in my head a couple times over, then opened your first letter. The first one I had received in the mail, my first smile since you had to leave.

Cathryn,

I apologize for the delay of this letter. I can only imagine how much of your time is spent waiting. I promise you that I write you as often as I can, but it is not very often. I hope you won’t expect many letters from me, but still believe in my love for you.

America is more beautiful than you and I have read it to be. The cities are filled with astounding architecture, and outside of the cities is even more beautiful in its own way. During my travels, I discovered a lake just after a meadow. I just know it would take your breath away. I cannot wait to come back and take you here. I promise, I will, and you will be far from disappointed.

I must go. I’ll write again whenever it may be possible. I love and miss you dearly. Keep me in your heart.

Jack


I held the letter to my chest, wanting to cry and to smile all at once. But I stayed at ease. I neatly folded it the same way it always has been, and neatly tucked it back into the envelope. I remember receiving that letter, exactly 6 years and 42 days ago. It was only 1 year and 323 days into your trip.

“How long will you be gone?” I asked, looking down, avoiding your gaze. It was difficult to keep my voice steady.

I remember asking that question as if it had only been a day. The rush of emotions going on inside of me was unbelievable. I was scared, hurt, and heartbroken. It was a steep price to pay, even if it was for our benefit, so we could have a better life together. Within the freedom of America, and away from England and all of Europe in its entirety.

“Eight years. Meet me right here on this dock exactly eight years from now. ” Yes, watching you leave was a steep price to pay.

I slipped the second letter out of its envelope, being cautious with it while I unfolded.

Cathryn, my love,

I hope this letter gets to you soon, as I cannot wait for you to hear this news. I have discovered a little house just like we wanted here in America. It’s a short distance near the ocean, a beach, even. It’s only two floors, and not very big. It has a front porch with a swing, and a backyard filled with trees. It’s the closest to that cabin house that you have described to me as your dream house. I’m far too excited for words to even express. I simply cannot wait to show you it.

Keep me in your heart.

Jack

I felt the wind carry my hair along the side of my shoulder. The waves picked up, crashing louder, and I felt the cool mist spray my ankles and tickle my toes. The bottom of my dress folded and whipped in the air until it subsided to the stillness of before. I returned the letter to safety before the breeze could claim it. I took a deep breath, my eyes fixated on the horizon. The sun was slowly disappearing behind the waves, creating a rush of color across the sky. I breathed out, and looked down at the water beneath my feet. I studied the tiny waves slapping the wooden beams of the dock.

“How am I supposed to live eight full years without you? What will I do to let myself know that everything will be alright?” I could feel the panic in my eyes as I stared straight into yours. Yours were soft, mellow. They did not return my distress.

“Keep me in your heart.” You gently pressed your lips against mine, lingering for as long as was possible. And before I knew it, your ship was all the way on the horizon, leaving me with nothing but the waves and the sky to keep me company.

I closed my eyes. I remember thinking of how many cups I could fill with tears from just that one day. I opened my eyes, wiping away a single tear that had escaped despite my will to keep calm. I looked toward the horizon again as I pulled out the third letter.

My dearest Cathryn,

We’re halfway through, my love. I am sending you this letter while almost at the four year point, and I know time will have passed whence you receive this.

I feel I have progressed by much since the last time I wrote you. However, I have no idea how to put it into words. There are just so many things about America. The country is neverending. I just hope I can make it from coast to coast within the next four years! I’ve seen so much. There have been woods, plains, and even mountains. The mountains, my word. I must show you them some day. They are simply astonishing, I cannot even begin to explain.

With every site that I mutter the word ‘beautiful’ to describe, I think of you. Keep me in your heart, as you are always in mine.

Jack

I was reminded of how that final sentence had made my heart flutter. I slipped the letter back into the envelope slowly and carefully, not taking my eyes off the horizon.

It’s been the extra four years, darling. It’s been eight years as a whole, exactly today. I thought. Once again, I tried my best to remember you, and your ways in general. I tried to remember the pace of your steps when walking on the road, the sound of your breathing when you became too tired, the way your hair felt brushing against my cheek when we watched the waves together.

“Who will keep you safe if I am here?” I asked, before you had to leave.

“You’ve known Michael almost as long as I have. He’ll keep me safe, as a best friend should.” I tried my best to believe you.

I did not want to forget, nor would I ever, but it is all a faint memory. I stared down the horizon, desperately waiting for that boat-shaped silhouette I’ve been dying to see for exactly eight years. I closed my eyes. The fourth letter is something I did not need to read, as I had memorized it completely. The last letter I had received that concerned you and your travels to find a better life for us. I first opened that letter 2 years and 36 days before your return.

To my dearest friend Cathryn,

I am writing you this with the emotions rising from the bottom of my heart. We were so close to coming back home to the dock, so close. But I must bring you the worst of news in its place. What was unknown about the dark side of America has come to my knowledge in the worst possible way. The cities of America are lurking with danger.

We reached a city named Detroit. I’ve heard that it is crawling with killers, but I believed we would be safe if we only stayed a night. But night is the blackest time to be staying in a place crawling with killers. Forgive me for not having this knowledge until it was too late. I’m afraid to say I’ve learned that killers are not merciful. I blame myself. He knew this was going to be a dangerous trip, travelling through cities, sometimes at night, but I still blame myself. Believe me when I say I wish things could have ended differently, but there is nothing I can do now. He did not return.

I’m staying in America for now as planned, and will return when was planned as well. I hope you take this well.

Sincerely, Michael

I remember the agony shooting through me, the pain lifting my soul above my body, the emptiness separating my heart from my chest.

I closed my eyes and let another tear slide down, but opened them in time to watch the sun disappear underneath the sea. I had spent my day waiting for your return, remembering the exact words of the letter that told me you were not going to. But I kept my promise and waited at this dock exactly eight years from your departing day. I have kept you in my heart every day for those eight years. I have kept my end of the promise, and now it ends.

Yes, watching you leave was a steep price to pay.

(via Lubita Love Stories)


Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 6371

Trending Articles