I’m not crazy. I’m pretty sane actually. Many others may disagree though. Because of my big decision that I made recently. Just so you all know, I’m not a spiteful person. And for those of you who are completely clueless to what I’m talking about, allow me to elaborate.
A year ago from New Years day I met the guy who would later on become my boyfriend. He indeed was more than that. We were best friends. The closeness we shared, could not be captured by any picture or video in the world. It had its ups and downs, but what relationship doesn’t? All we cared about was love.
But then came late August. He went away to c o l l e g e. Many girlfriends may have broke down, and ended things but as for me, I stayed strong. The distance wasn’t the problem. The fighting was. What went from arguing rarely, turned into almost never not arguing. That’s when things took a turn in early September.
We both agreed we needed a break except neither of us were really ready to let go. I don’t know how much of a break talking everyday really is. However, we still tried to make things work yet we would continue to argue and we weren’t even dating!
While still holding on to each other around christmas we did indeed exchange gifts but things still weren’t right. It got to the point where we stopped speaking to each other. This was odd because from the day we met, we had talked everyday. So going a whole day without talking was a big deal believe me.
As days past, it eventually was New Years, being a year that we had known each other. And that is when I received he most unexpected phone call of the night.
It is a bit personal and I wouldn’t want to throw him under the bus, but lets just say what could have been a positive phone call was most definitely the exact opposite.
At the time he had been on vacation with friends in Canada. However he asked that he saw me the day he returned, so I said fine.
He showed up to my house with flowers, a very nice gesture. We talked, reminisced and shared old memories together. We laughed a lot and I agreed to see him the next day.
Things again went smoothy, so that weekend I saw him for both friday and saturday night.
But then reality hit me.
Our problems were never really bad when we were together. The distance is what brought upon all the fighting. And sure enough as soon as he was back at college all the problems would return.
So I made the decision. To push away the love of my life, and the person I’ve said to be my soul mate. The person who’s texts I’ve been ignoring and am finally allowing myself to let go.
Call me crazy, but I know I’m sane.
Sometimes things just don’t work out. The constant fighting wasn’t healthy for either of us. And like my horoscope says “This major change is in no way negative.”
I only hope that one day he can forgive me, and if fate has us being together in the future then I’ll put my future in fates hand.
Who knows if any of you are reading this. But if you are thanks for listening. Sometimes you just gotta let it all out.