NOVEMBER ‘07: Two years and eight months ago I was walking to a strangers house with my friends and I knew no one there. There was mostly a lot of guys and I stayed there quietly as my friends approach them. I look around and the guys were all staring at me. I didnt really notice any of the boys specifically. After I left, my friend told me all the guys were rating me and thought I was ugly except for one who thought I was cute. That boy added me on Myspace and we started to chat, his name is Justin. Justin ask me out that day but I rejected him because I was there to visit (in california) and I live in another state (Nevada).
We talk once in awhile, text and internet, and we tried to hang out but every time I am there visiting he was busy.
SEPTEMBER ‘09: After talking to him a lot more and gradually became closer, he became my guy bestfriend. He one day confront me about how he likes me more then a friend and ask me how I felt. I told him I dont like him like that. I told him I dont find him attractive and he seems too much of a player for me.
October ‘09: We were going to see each other on Halloween Day. As he approach me, I was shy. Our first hug was very awkward but I was amaze at how innocent and cute he actually appear to be. We were walking and I started to like him. We were talking and laughing then we stop and I decided to kiss him. It was a fail and I felt embarrassed. I think I forgot how to kiss, lol. Later as we walk to his friends house he ask me if I wanted to try the kiss again. I agree and we kissed, for a really long time. As we kiss I knew right then, Im beginning to fall for this guy, I like him a lot! I know it seems a little fast but that was how it was at the time.
We return to normal and each day was like our last day of talking to each other. One day he told me he has a girlfriend and I was so devastated. I was mad at him because we like each other yet he gets a girlfriend. I started to talk to him less and less but when he broke up with his gf I felt so happy. A week later I went to California.
NOVEMBER’09: I was still mad at him for leaving me but we still planned to see each other and this time we spent two whole days together. The first day wasnt as special. He apologize for how he left me for another girl and we had the longest hug ever in dead silence of a parking lot. We walk to his friends house again. The entire time we couldnt help but smile when our eyes met. We decided to walk away from everyone into another part of the backyard when no one else can see us. We lay down on the grass holding eachother in the cold, silence, dark autumn sky.
THE NEXT DAY: We decided to go to the movies and when we were walking he told me how lucky he is to escort a beautiful girl as me. The movie was eh, we spent half of the time gazing in each others eyes. After the movie, we went to his friends party which was outside. It was dark and late and I was cold, so he took off his sweater and insist on me having it. He hug me in the quiet cold and gave all his attention to me the whole time. We stood next to the fire together with his arms wrap around me. It was a perfect moment. I thought my night would never get better until he ask his friend to play a cute song. He then looked at me while holding my hands and ask me to be with girlfriend and of course you all should guess my answer.
The next month we talked about everything we could possibly think of. He was literally the close to perfect boyfriend. We talk about me going to school in Cali next fall, how we will grow old together, and everything in between that. He called me even when he is with his friends. He tells me stories on the phone for me to fall asleep to. He sent me cheesy pick up lines in the middle of the night. He was the sweetest thing ever and I was the luckiest girl ever. Through web cam he would blow me a kiss and we would write messages to each other and held it up for each other to see. He called me back when I hang up and talk to me every chance he could. He gave me happiness that I havent had for a very long time. He talked about me at school (my friends tell me) and he was proud to have me as his gf. He complimented me on everything that deserves a compliment, but he also said that truth about anything to save me embarrassment. He held doors for me and offer to pay for me. He was literally amaze.
Youll think well have a happy ever after dont you? Well a couple days after Christmas I found out I wasnt allow to go to California for school so to safe him from suffering because of the distance and cause I couldnt be there for him, I broke up with him. We both blame the distance for tearing our relationship apart. Month after month we fell for eachother and stop then again then stop. We then eventually stop and now we have moved on.
Lately I been thinking about him, how much I miss him. How much I miss the feeling of being with him and talking to him. I miss his sweet voice, cute gestures, and innocent face. I miss everything about him, from his perfections to his little flaws.
The last time we talk was two weeks ago and I know that we can still be able to be together if we want but the only thing is, he change. He has become a completely different person with his personality and he isnt the guy I fell for.
I really think people should hold on to anything valuable. Even if you think you are doing something good and setting them free, it may not be what they want. so just be selfish and keep it. In the long run being selfish can save you from having regrets later on in life.
Now in three weeks when school starts Ill be in the same school as him and live less then a mile away from him and probably will never be able to find out if we can be together if distance was never the problem. In the end, I will always have a little love for the guy who once use to treat me with respect and love.
by viiviian