Part of the List, Things that ill miss.

 I wasnt going to post this… it took me a good 7 months to decide if i wanted to share this… well here goes nothing . About six months ago i lost someone who i cared about dearly. He was the first person i ever loved, and i really havent been the same since… this note was written a few days after he died…. i just need to get it out so yeah 

1. how soft your hands are 
2. the way your neck smelled like cocoa butter
3. singing in my car 
4. comparing hands 
5. buying giant jaw breakers and gummy bears 
6. “the only way i would ever hurt you is if i held your hand too tight”
7. phone calls till 3 am
8. karate chops in the throat 
9. calling me ugly 
10. making me love my hair 
11. the tree 
12. the laundry room 
13. walking home with you even though you lived across town 
14. burbon chicken at the mall w/ hi-c
15. random song lyrics 
16. anything lil wayne 
17. the number 12 
18. both of us fitting in your giant northface jacket
19. march 8th, 2008
20. your necklace that used to smack me in the head if you didnt move it when we hugged 
21. wendys after basketball games 
22. your headband
23. the color purple 
24. 10 1/2 uggs 
25. lemonade vitamin water 
26. rib sandwhiches from taste 
27. your big red hoodie coming down to my knees 
28. how big you were in comparison to me, the shadows on the lockers 
29. walking to your house to mine in the pouring rain while we were both sick 
30. sundays at my house 
31. sitting on my front porch 
32. red ice pops 
33. the scar on my elbow from us wrestling 
34. locking me in a locker 
35. the face you always made when you laughed 
36. the way you covered your mouth 
37. cheesesteaks and sugar cookies at lunch and coming to your health class 
38. just hanging out 
39. fighting in the hall 
40. you coming to sit in carlocks class 
41. my mom asking you to help with thechair and you saying you couldnt do it, even if the world was going to end 
42. valentines day, the note, thefight, my bear
43. forehead kisses 
44. pulling my hair 
45. “i love you ugly”
46. sheep and ducky 
47. olive oyl and popeye
48. “dont cheer, you wont be the same olivia i fell in love with if you cheer”
49. making me love myself 
50. watching spongebob after school together 
51. love and basketball 
52. bill cosby impressions 
53. the way your head bobbled when you ran 
54. the way your sweat smelled 
55. your white under Armour 
56. our sidekicks that matched 
57. how you loved me in sweats 
58. how much you LOVED starburts 
59. peanut butter and fluff
60. our first kiss at the rec 
61. girls wrestling states 
62. basketball states with your parents 
63. you singing “touch my body” in the back seat to my mom 
64. the tanning salon incident
65. cheerrryyy chapstick 
66. my ugly brown shoes
67. my penn state wrestling tshirt
68. the time you tole me your dog died and called me crying but he really got sprayed by a skunk
69. how much you love your grandma 
70. double bacon nators large fries and ice teas
71. when you licked the blister on my head
72. 4am phone calls when you came home from parties shit faced 
73. how neat your mr rhodes notebook was 
74. how you wanted to be a history teacher 
75. watching you do the circle before basketball games 
76. sitting with your parents
77. daddy goign to your house
78. how cute you looked in glasses ( i smiled as i wrote that)
79. purple and white nikes
80. those stupid acid wash jeansi hated but now love
81. that neon blue hollister hoodie 
82. cupcakes… -__-
83. the containers by the field 
84. i was the first  <3 you made on aim 
85. being in your AIM sidekick status 
86. being your aim icon 
87. your cheeks 
88. your high ass butt and thighs 
89. doing your chosen book report 
90. my moooostache and the book with the razor.. lmao 
91. hide and seek in target 
92. how my stache ticked you while watching spongebob
93. nike wrist bands
94. seing you after the break up and still trading smiles 
95. your handwriting 
96. smiling at you while you were on the court 
97. bleeding love 
98. your my baby
99. any boys 2 men 
100. your navy comforter 
101. cartoon character sheets 
102. mickey mouse slippers 
103. that one night we were at the mall and i thought those black girls were making fun of my light skin and it made me cry, you made me feel better. 
104. the chills i used to get when you touched the small of my back, no one does it the way you did. 
105. the scar on my elbow i hope it never fades. 
106. how you hated the way my mascara got on my eyelids… it still happens 
107. you singing in falsetto voices 
108. pictures while you were at church 
109. when you picked me up put me on the counter help my face and said one day well be together 
110. how you hated my cousin lol 
111. you said i love you first. 
112. “ugly this is just another chapter in the book” 
113. the way you switched out the n word for ninja
114. singing a milli and switching verse 
115. getting so excited for you to come over it hurt mystomach
116. the pink notebook 
117. the time i was at your house.. and you pooped. lmao 
118. when we were sitting in the auditorium and i couldnt find you lmao and i kept call your name and then i saw your headphones and you thought iwas making fun of you 
119. standing on the bleachers because of our height difference to kiss. 
120. my cow flats after grandmas funeral and how you hated them.

most of all ill miss the way you smell, the kisses we shared in secret in the hallways, and the memories. 

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