This is Gabe.
When I was 13, I met him at a Thanksgiving football game. I had no idea who he was, but he knew me. He said he’s always seen me, always thought I was cute, but never had the courage to say anything. This was his chance, and I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was mine, too. We cheered on our team, we laughed together, we screamed together. It was a perfect moment and we didn’t really know each other. On Thanksgiving day, he called me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes, and I eventually ruined the chance months later when we broke up. On the same date the next year, he asked me again. And being me, the same thing happened. I’ve made a lot of mistakes due to fear. I told him I just wanted to be friends. After that I thought that he would be mad, or he would want nothing to do with me, but he did the complete opposite, he said he just wanted me in his life, no matter what that meant, and that he would always be there no matter what. Although I didn’t show it at the time, but that meant the world to me. I had never meant anyone like him, but I was glad he was in my life too. For the next year I went through some of the toughest things I’ve ever had to face, and it was so hard to stay strong. So many times I just wanted to give up, but he kept me strong. He never gave up on me, no matter how broken I was feeling at the time, no matter how messed up I was, he took me in and picked me back up again, when I wasn’t strong he was strong for me, when I couldn’t even stand, and that’s one of the things that make me love him so much even to this day. We weren’t together, but he was always there for me. He loved me, and I was too stupid to realize it. I had pushed him away time and time again because I was too scared, I wondered how he could ever love a mess like me. I didn’t even love myself, and here he was, being there for me every time, even when I pushed him away. And then, in late November, the same date he asked me to be his girlfriend to begin with, I reached out to him. I remember talking to my friends just days before, telling everything of how much I wanted to love him, but how scared I was, how hard it was to just jump in head first; and they told me something I will never forget. They said “I know your scared, I’ve been there too, but remember that someday you may look back, and regretted never taking the chance the was right there in front of you all along, and knowing that it could have been the best thing that ever happened to you. He loves you. Don’t mess it up.” That really made me think, and I realized I was so tired of being scared, so I took a chance, and it’s been the best decision I have ever made. He is the best decision I have ever made.
I guess I’m writing this to say even though you’re scared, and you don’t want to get hurt, and you think everyone is the same: they’re not. There are guys who will still text you all day long, and kiss your forehead when you’re mad, and bring you around all their friends and not be embarrassed. Of course, you’ll argue, but love is very simple. We just make it complicated. Love means working everything out, it means forgiving, it means accepting each other for who we are, it means not changing big things and only little things that can better us, it means not expecting perfection, it means loving and standing by each other through the hardest times, it means always taking each other back, it means understanding people make mistakes, it means chasing each other when either one of us walks away, it means you loving me when I’m too sad to muster up any conversation, it means you loving me when it’s hard to even look at me, it means loving you when you’re in a bad mood or too tired to do or say the things I want you to, it means loving you when you’re down and not just fun to be with, it means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine, it means holding my hands through the things that are too hard for me to face alone, it means holding your hands through the things you just don’t want to face at all, it means trusting our love and our feelings, it means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love enough not to let go, it means thinking of you dreaming of you wanting and needing you and constantly hoping that you feel the same way for me. There are good guys out there, and girls like who I was would pass my good guy up because they think they’re the same. Love is worth the risk. Trust me. Because now, I’m 17, and I still have the same boy I loved all along. I’m not scared anymore. You shouldn’t be, either.
by: letterstogabe