The boat rocked with your hips. The light from the moon was shining in through the window above us and illuminating our sin. Your fingers ran through my hair as mine gripped yours tightly. I was afraid the moment would last forever, so scared that I wouldn’t leave. That I would never let go of my uncompromising grip of your hair. That I’d tear you apart with my nails as they tore up and down your back. That everything I was doing would envelop you and ruin you forever.
But instead, it was your hands, moving up and down my body, that ruined me. I disappeared in the midst of your affections. Every kiss cut through my skin, decaying my body inch by inch. Your blue eyes seemed to look right through me, focusing on forgetting me, losing me in these actions. You wanted out. You wanted to love me one last time before pushing what you had of me back into the world for another to take. Our final sin was our closure.
Afterwards, your ipod, it was on shuffle. Usher’s Yeah came on right after The Doors. That’s when I was sure. You weren’t the same person who held me close three months ago and whispered that I was beautiful. You weren’t the same boy who I taught how to kiss, how to lean in just right, how to compliment a girl. You were who you’ve always wanted to be, but not the boy I’ve fallen in love with.
Not the boy I’d made love to just before.