(I love this picture. The face she made is so innocent and cute. I love you, Krystina.)
I’m constantly have dreams about my cousin. In my dreams, she is absolutely fine and living her life as every child her age and not spending days to weeks to even months in the hospital. And in my dream in the back of my mind I’m thinking, “so it was just a nightmare. She’s doing fine, she never really did pass away. It wasn’t real.” But then I wake up and realize that that was only a dream. She really is gone. It still seems so unreal to me, I still can’t believe that she’s gone. Then everything that I witnessed during her last few hours of life, standing besides her holding her hand as it got cold, seeing her lay in the coffin as if she were asleep at her wake(viewing), and when they closed her coffin and pushed it away at the funeral, all of it replays back in my head, and I know that she really is gone. I miss you so much and I think about you all the time. R.I.P.
by ayystfu