Riley Thurston..
I can imagine myself without him. But every time I do, I crumble to pieces inside. Like those “what ifs” things. Yesterday evening, he told me he wanted to join the army. I didn’t respond the way I wanted to, I ended up just being so incredibly quiet the whole time. I started to imagine what it would be like for him to go away for months, maybe even years. I imagined what it would be like to wake up every morning without him there. To think that he might be dead at any moment. To know that he has such a low self esteem about himself, thinking he can’t succeed in school, but he can. He’s so intelligent and has so much potential of being someone big, but chooses not to, and chooses to give up.
For three or four hours, I didn’t talk at all. He noticed, but chose not to say or do anything about it. In those three or four hours, I imagined so many things that could go wrong while he’s away. Not only is he my boyfriend, but he’s my best friend. Our hearts are linked and permanently glued together. If something happens to him, I would literally die from a broken heart. So much chemicals from being depressed would just overload my heart and cause it to stop working.
You know all those families whose husbands, wives, brothers, and sisters all go to war and fight for this country, and they either don’t come back, or they come back different. They’re not the same because they’re so traumatized by what they saw. They see their friends they make in the army die brutally, and you can’t close your eyes..
I love Riley, and I don’t want anything to happen to him. He is the reason I am the person I am today. I changed myself for the better because of him. He inspired me to be a good person, he inspired me to be honest with myself, he inspired me to smile everyday and mean it. He taught me love myself because he loves me.
I want to change his mind. I know it’s about two years from now before he can join the army, but I don’t want him to go. I want him to know that it’s a bad idea to do this. I want him to know that I’m here for him always. I want him to know that no matter what he goes through, I’m here to listen.
I love you Riley Thurston, you are my other half.
<3