On my senior year, the English Department decided to bring the literature characters to life. Dr Seuss, Romeo and Juliet, etc… And the one who played Romeo is my true and only Romeo, you. :) I remember being so proud for you, helping you memorize your lines that I myself can recite them. I remember looking at you with the Romeo costume on and adoring how handsome and how Romeo-ish you looked. You will dramatize a scene in the play. And the one assigned to you is when Romeo thought Juliet died, saying farewell and declaring his love for her. I remember being heart-broken when i heard that you ‘accidentally’ kissed the one who plays Juliet on the lips. It was just supposed to be fake, only a kiss on the cheek. I don’t know what happened. I was just upset that day, but can’t be angry on you since you don’t know what i felt for you. I remember wanting to be a character myself, to portray someone else, be someone else even just for a day, to wear those elegant 70s costumes with fabulous hair and a pretty face.
I recall going with the cheerleading team, even though i’m not a part of it. I just wanted to be there, because you’re there. Evey single day that you’d practice, i would anticipate the long walk after, going home, where i’ll have some time chatting and joking with you. Under the setting sun, while walking with the cool breeze and laughing with you on my side, i fell completely and without any reservations for you. On those long walks home that i loved so much, we shared stories, smiles, and endless laughter. We even invented a name that we’ll call each other. We were so sweet, aren’t we? :)
But i know the truth. It doesn’t mean the same to you as it was for me. It was all just nothing to you, a friendship maybe. You made it clearly you could’ve slap it in my face that you love someone else. I was just a friend to you, no one important. I watched as you court her, make efforts to make her your girl. I watched as you cry when she upsets you and give you no importance, watched as you stare off aimlessly and think deeply when you two had a fight. And i was there, always on the side, never the center of your attention.
I could’ve told you what i truly felt for you. But i never had the courage, knowing that it’ll only cause me more heartache when i hear it come out of your mouth that you don’t feel the same way. So i never did.
And now, we are like strangers. Passing by on the campus like we don’t even know each other. Never sharing one smile. Avoiding looking at each others’ eyes. Forgetting all that we once shared.
But you’ll always be my Romeo. I never regret that. :) I’ll just never be the Juliet you’re looking for.